etishuman22

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etishuman22

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4460
  • Number of comments : 320
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About etishuman22 : I'm a budding accountant, and before you say, "That's boring", let me tell you that I actually enjoy what I do! Although my profession is boring, my own self is not boring whatsoever. I sing and play guitar (self-taught, represent!), I love watching BBC shows (Dr. Who and Sherlock, FTFW!), and cooking and eating of da foodz. Mostly eating. I'm super good at guessing ages! I have no pets currently as I lost my doggy Reagan last year to old age and stomach cancer. Sometimes I think I see him around still, so I hold the belief he's not done being a part of our family yet. You looking to chat and make an internet buddy? I'm down. I gots a few penpals from different social media websites.

etishuman22's page activity

Visits<b>_aPerson_</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 10:56pm<b>tyler530</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 6:19pm<b>damwoods</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 12:44am<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 8:06pm<b>HitlerLovingFag</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 3:59am<b>Fernando83</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 11:47pm<b>articwolf2</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 6:48pm<b>jake9234</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:01am<b>tomdrc12</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 1:42pm<b>Burberryhype</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 7:45am<b>convive</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 10:36pm<b>websphere69</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:07pm<b>trashyant</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 4:08am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 5:26am<b>LuxTheSarcastic</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 10:30am<b>jill97</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 12:59am<b>Throggdor</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 2:17pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 7:07am

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:23am<b>Druu</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 6:16am<b>hantu69</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 2:05am<b>rafa015</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:05am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:37am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 11:32pm

etishuman22's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of etishuman22's badges

etishuman22's favorite FMLs

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

by Something I said? / 11/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

by DocBastard, meet DocCunt / 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 2:56am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML

by ouharguohargssdf / 09/28/2013 at 5:01pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find my parents wearing Santa hats and blasting Christmas music at full volume. So begins three months of hell. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 3:08pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

by Craigslist is Evil. / 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I waited in the pouring rain for my wife to come pick me up from work. It was only after I was thoroughly drenched that I remembered it was my wife's day off, and that I drove myself to work earlier in her car, which was parked fifty feet from where I was waiting. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2013 at 4:30pm / Transportation

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

by Grand Slam / 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I realized that it's become a regular occurrence for my mother and me to talk about our pubic hair. I don't know which is worse: the fact that I know she shaves it, or the fact that we even talk about this stuff. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 1:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cousin texted me, asking how the chicken pizza had settled in my stomach. We got drunk last night and had pizza. I thought it was cheese; it was chicken. I've been vegetarian for 7 years. FML

by Aly / 08/15/2013 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing / 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy