eternalibra

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eternalibra

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 October 1988 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10053
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About eternalibra : My name is Mallory.
Users I like:
every1luvsboners
perdix
kingdingaling
pendatik
docbastard

eternalibra's page activity

Visits<b>saifnaqvi11</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 8:46pm<b>Mons</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 5:30pm<b>hasooon</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 8:40am<b>drunkmunkey</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 3:56pm<b>lennon_</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 1:42pm<b>Nooblah</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 8:47pm<b>punter123</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 7:35am<b>Rizzen</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:37am<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 3:27am<b>Morticia</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 10:27pm<b>anoneemoose</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 9:25am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 8:37pm<b>Danny_Boy12</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:41pm<b>dre82</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:03am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 5:40am<b>brittany2230</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 8:48am<b>Daaaan</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 4:50pm<b>aishaa1</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 11:24pm

eternalibra's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of eternalibra's badges

eternalibra's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML

by kira / 10/02/2012 at 6:29am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

by linn / 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML

by ak_6694 / 09/22/2012 at 3:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

by minibuch1505 / 09/21/2012 at 7:31am / Miscellaneous

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

by myself / 09/20/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

by ClaireBear150 / 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my little brother is a highly committed Nazi. He goes to meetings and everything, my parents think it's great he is "getting out and developing a social life." FML

by he is going to hell / 09/18/2012 at 5:46pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

by -___- / 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Kids

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

by -___- / 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Kids

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

by sasquatch / 09/08/2012 at 12:03am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

by pride? what's that? :( / 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Intimacy

Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML

by wow, thanks / 08/17/2012 at 8:39pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous