Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

errata

Offline (the 08/18/2015 at 8:42pm) | Search for a member

errata

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 7 July 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1030
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About errata : Meh

errata's page activity

Visits<b>Cristian89</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:26pm<b>inkjet</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 3:55am<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 3:07pm<b>mineller</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 4:04pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 11:48am<b>khoov19</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 3:31am<b>JoeOfDoom</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 5:34am<b>sherbear78</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:26pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 5:17pm<b>C7</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:16pm<b>battleaxebowman</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 5:39pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 4:09pm<b>LivingLouder</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 11:10pm<b>Julianne_sings</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 12:35pm<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 8:16pm

Fucked!<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 11:26pm<b>C7</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 9:16pm

errata's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of errata's badges

errata's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML

#21332979
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29090) - you deserved it (2133)

On 01/07/2015 at 10:13pm - misc - by awkwardpineapples - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41418) - you deserved it (12426)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

#21281207
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32379) - you deserved it (5305)

On 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52664) - you deserved it (4625)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53628) - you deserved it (11735)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43246) - you deserved it (18120)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47978) - you deserved it (35126)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

#21082949
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45565) - you deserved it (4238)

On 03/10/2014 at 4:22am - misc - by are you kidding me? - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

#21020870
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36408) - you deserved it (32683)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48941) - you deserved it (3899)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

#21006941
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56062) - you deserved it (3581)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27665) - you deserved it (67000)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44541) - you deserved it (5400)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML



FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #17
  • It's here! Yep, time once more to delve into the darkest corners of the FML postbag and check out the stuff that never would've seen the light of day, had we not had a vicious streak in our brains. It's…

Tuesday 25 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: