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errata's favorite FMLs
by but cum to think of it... / 07/03/2015 at 5:29pm / Intimacy
by awkwardpineapples / 01/07/2015 at 10:13pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML
by Lisa / 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by fizzie101 / 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML
by crop circle galore / 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm / United States / Work
Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML
by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by MiserableMan / 06/10/2014 at 12:02am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 1:57am / Canada / Kids
Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML
by Anonymous / 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by are you kidding me? / 03/10/2014 at 4:22am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML
by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals
- Today, I decided to sink low enough to sign up for one of those 'get paid for taking a survey site'… Today, I had 45 minutes spare between appointments to do some work at the office. I needed to print… Today I received a phone call for a reservation (I'm a B&B owner) for 12 firefighters (he said they…