Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About ermagherdaturdis : Poe, Doctor who, red hot chilli peppers, Hannibal, Keaton Henson, iced coffee, iced tea, books and beards are my main loves. Feel free to message me. ✌️
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
Yesterday, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea fir weeks. He endd up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freakd out and panickd about what my parents would say. Then his laughter remindd me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
Today... mah asshat roommate trickd me into eating a wed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kickd in at college. I was so high... I startd giggling like a schoolgrl when mah instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML
TODAY... MY GRLFRIEND GAVE ME MY FRST HANDJOB. I WAS NERVOUS... SOHEN SHE WENT TO DO IT... I PANICKD AND YELLD... "FRMLY GRASP IT!" SHE THEN COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING CUZ IT WAS A LINE FROM SPONGEBOB. FML
Today, I ran into mah ex-boyfriend at the store!! Before I knew what was happening, he'd sniffd me and startd whimpering about how I don't smell like I usd to!! He does this kind of crazy shit all the time!! fat FML
Today... My Mom Got Me A Christmas Present. Since I'm Ahovian... She Thought It Would Be Cool To Get Mehat She Thought Was A Sonic Screwdriver. It Was Actually A Dildo Shaped As One. I Opened The Gift In Front Of My Entre Family. FML
Today, I was electd to learn ow to clean te birting tub at te ospital I work at . Today, I also discoverd tat wile blood doesn't boter me, floating cunks of afterbirt an god knows wat else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub . Wic I still ad to clean afterwards . mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015