Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ermagherdaturdis

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

ermagherdaturdis

30Fucked!

ermagherdaturdisermagherdaturdis
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 November 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 665
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About ermagherdaturdis : Poe, Doctor who, red hot chilli peppers, Hannibal, Keaton Henson, iced coffee, iced tea, and books are my main loves. Feel free to message me. ✌️

ermagherdaturdis's page activity

Visits<b>cypherwars</b> - 5 hours ago<b>annarcheer</b> - 22 hours ago<b>lil_jimmy</b> - 22 hours ago<b>mosquito19</b> - yesterday at 12:12am<b>martin8337</b> - yesterday at 8:50pm<b>spockadelic</b> - yesterday at 7:46pm<b>Dicebar</b> - yesterday at 6:45pm<b>Warriorflex</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 5:36pm<b>wangwong</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:51pm<b>ScarredVox92</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:07pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Devtyro</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 2:11pm<b>niksatter96</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 1:57pm<b>raven83</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 1:36pm<b>legendairy3000</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 12:49pm<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 12:26pm<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 12:20pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 11:53am

Fucked!<b>cypherwars</b> - just now<b>lil_jimmy</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Warriorflex</b> - yesterday at 11:36pm<b>niksatter96</b> - yesterday at 7:57pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 5:54pm<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 1:51pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 12:01pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 10:59am<b>wild4drums</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 10:49am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 10:15am<b>igg125</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 9:48pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 9:01pm<b>Cads1</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 1:42pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:54pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 5:04am<b>MattStro</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 8:27pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:57pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:50pm

ermagherdaturdis's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of ermagherdaturdis's badges

ermagherdaturdis's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML

#21415827
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24796) - you deserved it (1526)

On 05/25/2015 at 11:50pm - work - by tmi4me - United States

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

#21378507
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27342) - you deserved it (2068)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by ~__~ -

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51) - you deserved it (120)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML

#21349104
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27752) - you deserved it (1872)

On 02/03/2015 at 3:45pm - kids - by burned -

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29401) - you deserved it (3339)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

#21342882
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31401) - you deserved it (4428)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:12pm - misc - by Annomymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML

#21335978
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25960) - you deserved it (1831)

On 01/12/2015 at 8:11pm - misc - by PO'd big bro - United States (Georgia)

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store. Before I knew what was happening, he'd sniffed me and started whimpering about how I don't smell like I used to. He does this kind of crazy shit all the time. FML

#21324827
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29860) - you deserved it (3106)

On 12/26/2014 at 6:06pm - love - by GOAWAY - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33499) - you deserved it (3473)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

#21312610
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36278) - you deserved it (11309)

On 12/06/2014 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by fuckered519 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48276) - you deserved it (13549)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML

#21304749
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31088) - you deserved it (2988)

On 11/23/2014 at 8:59pm - work - by StomachofTinfoil (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35327) - you deserved it (3684)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: