About equitationbound : I like pop punk.
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equitationbound's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend was shaving his beard in the bathroom when I left. An hour later, I found him exasperated after having shaved half his body. I had to help him shave every nook and cranny left because he said he was in too deep and couldn't turn back. Yes, his bumhole too. FML
by NothowIimaginedmyday / 10/03/2015 at 12:00am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anon Y. Mous / 10/02/2015 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Love
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend constantly mentioning pegging and asking me to let her do it, I caved and figured I might as well stand by my "try anything once" rule. Her response? Saying she knew I was gay all along and dumping me. The fuck? FML
by no I've never asked for anal / 09/20/2015 at 9:44am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was confiding in my grandma about how lonely I am and how everything in my life seems to be falling apart. While I was in mid-sentence, she rolled her eyes and made a show of removing her hearing aid. FML
by Anonymous / 09/19/2015 at 1:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a date after being alone for the past 2 years. The girl who my friends set me up with began asking my monthly income, my current occupation, and asked if I have a credit card account. FML
by anonymous / 09/08/2015 at 8:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by kobolobo / 08/11/2015 at 12:45pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2015 at 10:13pm / United States (California) / Health
by justjoking / 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm / United States / Work
by MisUnFortunate / 12/16/2014 at 1:42pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML
by thechaos / 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
by pooplife / 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/14/2014 at 2:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with my crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2014 at 11:42am / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML
by StephLo / 08/18/2014 at 5:25pm / United States (California) / Transportation
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…