Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

enddmd

Search for a member

enddmd

4Liked!

enddmdenddmd
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 925
  • Number of comments : 89
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About enddmd : Soooo.......ummm......Hello there. My name's Mike. I love music—playing, reading, and listening—and I think that wearing morphsuits (and other identity-hiding costumes) is fun. Have a pleasant day.



...What are you still doing here? Go fuck a cactus or something. (Or give me a 'Fuck,' as I just ran out of ones to give).

enddmd's page activity

Visits<b>Rainbow2Cloud</b> - yesterday at 4:11pm<b>scuccria</b> - yesterday at 2:32pm<b>drugsRfun</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 10:21pm<b>zoratheexplora</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 8:32pm<b>Bloodknight</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:05pm<b>pubeboy</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:58am<b>Josh91000</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:17pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 11:05pm<b>shanannygians07</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 9:02pm<b>feven</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 8:02pm<b>PokeyPorcupine</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 3:49am<b>Cloco98</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 6:51pm<b>meritkot</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 10:13pm<b>Jessica00</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 7:21am<b>EmoKami</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 1:37pm<b>bluucat</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 8:16am<b>fourth_line_dust</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 11:11am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:52am

Liked!<b>PokeyPorcupine</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 9:49am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 6:40am<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 11:38am<b>gatorclay97</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:06pm

enddmd's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of enddmd's badges

enddmd's favorite FMLs

Today, my entire junior class took the ACT. On the last test, a classmate's phone went off, automatically invalidating the whole test. We all have to retake it. FML

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

#21364287
159 comments

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28220) - you deserved it (3205)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss used Siri to settle a debate we were having in our team meeting. Siri responded by calling him "Daddy". FML

Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML

#21342258
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27003) - you deserved it (2633)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML

#21340194
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28851) - you deserved it (6322)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

#21340142
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31134) - you deserved it (6418)

On 01/19/2015 at 9:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found my intoxicated step-father in our back yard trying to domesticate a stray opossum, attempting to give it steak and malt liquor. FML

#21334215
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26243) - you deserved it (1915)

On 01/09/2015 at 10:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got 3 different rejection letters mailed to me from the same college. FML

#21320043
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33331) - you deserved it (2845)

On 12/18/2014 at 11:04pm - misc - by ai_lauren (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that the "IRS scam" that I ignored last week was actually not a scam, and now I have a warrant out for me. FML

#21317643
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29986) - you deserved it (6025)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:50pm - money - by dawg - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that although I'm dating the most loveable, caring and genuine man, the fact that he's a crack addict means I'll never be his drug of choice when he needs a hit. FML

#21310760
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27485) - you deserved it (19368)

On 12/03/2014 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that my dog likes to howl when he hears sirens. I live next to the fire station. FML

#21305878
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28733) - you deserved it (3189)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by drreeeewwww - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

#21303913
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30795) - you deserved it (2288)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:37pm - kids - by uterurist (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML

#21302690
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31692) - you deserved it (3598)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:20am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: