emmingle

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Offline (the 12/04/2015 at 12:16am)

emmingle

31Fucked!

emmingle
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16730
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 30 posted

About emmingle : Czech-Canadian trying to make it big as a crayon designer.

emmingle's page activity

Visits<b>maggeei</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 12:40am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 8:53am<b>SOILEDIT</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 3:53am<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 8:18pm<b>ifuckuprandomly</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 10:54am<b>NoFightinDestiny</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 3:35pm<b>connorcaffery</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 1:20pm<b>Geoffelosophy</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 1:03pm<b>Seeyounarabish</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 12:15am<b>TheHinduHomie</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 7:53am<b>george_s_4</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 7:28am<b>Supernova116</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 8:20pm<b>dbpdp</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 5:56pm<b>leo2g1</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 10:07pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 9:49am<b>LeChef</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 6:45am<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 6:39pm<b>Aberous</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 12:18pm

Fucked!<b>ifuckuprandomly</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 4:54pm<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 12:39am<b>pks2014</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 4:20am<b>dom_g</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 7:53am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 3:08am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 6:10am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 2:29am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 8:42pm<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 7:39pm<b>AscendV</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 7:26am<b>Amaury56</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:08pm<b>imkool136</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 10:18am<b>bomzo</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 10:02am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 8:02am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 12:00am<b>TacoloverSWE</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 4:39pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:04pm<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:08pm

emmingle's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of emmingle's badges

emmingle's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her bluetooth headset. FML

by unemployed / 05/21/2009 at 3:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman says "nice dog" and without thinking I respond, "you too." FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 4:22pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I decided to finally use the gym membership I got a few weeks ago. After I returned to the locker room, the locker I used was opened with all my stuff, including my iTouch, cell phone, and my wallet with cash stolen. It turns out I left the sticker that tells you your combo on my new lock. FML

by Sweeney / 05/20/2009 at 1:54pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML

by June / 05/19/2009 at 5:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML

by BigBadTron / 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML

by BigBadTron / 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

by Jessica / 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML

by chaos2007 / 05/13/2009 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, while powerwashing my deck, a bee flew and landed on my leg. Thinking I'd just wash it away before it stings me, I aimed the powerwasher nozzle at the bee. A bee sting isn't nearly as painful as powerwashing your leg. FML

by jokada / 05/10/2009 at 4:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm / Italy (Toscana) / Health

Today, I picked up my passport, as my previous one was damaged in a car crash. As the teller warns me that a pattern of damaged passports will result in longer processing periods, she spills her coffee - all over my new passport. I'm supposed to go overseas in a month. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 12:29am / Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Holidays

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to superglue a couple quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I finished my SAT and was feeling pretty good about it. I decided to turn on my phone, since it was on silent. As the guy was collecting our tests, my phone vibrated a little. My score was cancelled. It was a text from my mom reminding me to turn off my phone. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2009 at 4:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

by liveforpeace_ / 04/28/2009 at 2:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy