About emmingle : Czech-Canadian trying to make it big as a crayon designer.
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emmingle's favorite FMLs
Today, I replaced a usually fun collegue's picture of his kids with a picture of my face against glass, so it looked I was inside the screen. Everyone laughed, but he reported me because I tried to "erase his children" and "if anything happens to them" it's now my fault. FML
Today, my friend texted me from a bar, saying they had just called my name in a raffle to win a trip to Aspen, CO. You had to be at the bar to claim the prize. I had left the bar half-an-hour earlier, not knowing they were even having a raffle. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2013 at 8:14pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money
by Anonymous / 10/11/2013 at 11:40am / United States (California) / Work
Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2013 at 7:45am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Ashley / 10/07/2013 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into a really fancy hotel bathroom. I spoke to the attendant and gave her my purse and coat while I used the toilet. When I came out, she was gone. The receptionist informed me they didn't have a bathroom attendant. FML
by wellcrap / 10/03/2013 at 1:41am / United States (Texas) / Money
by Anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
Today, my boyfriend's dad said he'd given my boyfriend £100 to take me out for a meal last night and he hoped I'd enjoyed it. Last night my boyfriend and I went to pizza hut, shared a pizza and split the bill. Turns out my boyfriend had simply pocketed the money without telling anyone. FML
by hmmm / 10/01/2013 at 8:32am / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Love
by meens42 / 09/30/2013 at 4:04am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 5:40pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous
Today, some asshat chewed me out over a 10 cent late fine he was charged on his library card. When I tried to explain the fine to him, he started mimicking me. Finally, as he chucked a dime at my head before storming out, I saw the glint of a Rolex watch from beneath his power suit. FML
by DimeShapedBruise / 09/24/2013 at 2:14am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by monkey / 09/19/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by anonymous / 09/17/2013 at 1:52pm / United States / Love
Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy
by sleeplessinrichmond / 09/15/2013 at 2:02am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my dog ran out into the middle of the street. A car was coming so I ran out to grab my dog.… Today, I went to pick up my girlfriend from the airport after not seeing her for six month, even on… Today, I have come to discover that I am on my period, have pink eye, and a headache. This would be…