About emmingle : Czech-Canadian trying to make it big as a crayon designer.
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emmingle's favorite FMLs
Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML
by well SHIT / 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML
by HelpMe / 02/25/2014 at 4:59am / United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The) / Animals
by You Are My Sunshine / 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Love
by Sodapop40 / 02/22/2014 at 4:21pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML
by seriously though / 02/22/2014 at 12:48am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 9:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by begging for air / 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML
by molliciousj / 02/19/2014 at 12:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML
by Anonymous / 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm / United States / Love
by Shooting myself / 02/10/2014 at 1:57pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML
by Anonymous / 02/07/2014 at 6:16pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML
by AnonymousQuagga / 02/06/2014 at 10:07pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML
by sashimi9999 / 02/06/2014 at 8:32pm / United States (California) / Health
by Nikia818 / 02/06/2014 at 1:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…