Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emmingle

Offline (the 04/14/2015 at 5:05am) | Search for a member

emmingle

15Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12544
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 28 posted

About emmingle : Czech-Canadian trying to make it big as a crayon designer.

emmingle's page activity

Visits<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 6:04am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 10:39am<b>Fustercluck</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 12:05pm<b>WiseGuy79</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 3:43pm<b>heyqt</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 10:38pm<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 6:08am<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 8:28am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 3:38am<b>PrinceOfBritain</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 8:09am<b>patts_</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 3:55am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 12:44am<b>jomar_19</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 7:12pm<b>NoFightinDestiny</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 12:14am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 3:57pm<b>seetei</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 7:52pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 12:14pm<b>WaltzingPhanthom</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 2:49am<b>sleepisweak</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 6:27am

Fucked!<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:04pm<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:08pm<b>patts_</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 9:55am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:44am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 6:14pm<b>FiendHunter</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 12:36am<b>24jfred</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 3:09pm<b>rjc490</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:10am<b>slurmslip</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 7:55pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 7:58pm<b>Live4funny</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 10:48am<b>jessiejamesp</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 6:44am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:31pm<b>JaimeFlores96</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:54am<b>FrostBite2202003</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:40am

emmingle's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of emmingle's badges

emmingle's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

#20575140
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39843) - you deserved it (3539)

On 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm - kids - by icanthearyou (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

#20575072
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42753) - you deserved it (3861)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister gave my laptop away and dumped a pile of her hamster's turds on my bed. All of this because I flushed the toilet while she was in the shower last night. FML

#20573279
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39681) - you deserved it (6095)

On 04/03/2013 at 2:45pm - misc - by poop (man) -

Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML

#20573162
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35941) - you deserved it (10312)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by SoClose (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

#20572868
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45304) - you deserved it (5411)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML

#20572732
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40655) - you deserved it (13820)

On 04/03/2013 at 1:48am - love - by kenabrookee - United States (California)

Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML

#20572312
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36576) - you deserved it (3272)

On 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

#20571521
121 comments

Today, after two and a half hours of travel, it was finally my stop on the train. I politely waited for a group of women to get off first. They took so long to move that the train doors closed. I shouted at one through the door to call the conductor. She watched and smiled as the train departed. FML

#20569932
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35693) - you deserved it (3786)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by CrimsonAmaryllis (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

#20564827
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16859) - you deserved it (33090)

On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML

#20563782
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20068) - you deserved it (54611)

On 03/28/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by not funny but :( (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML

#20562542
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56040) - you deserved it (3792)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

#20562346
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71960) - you deserved it (10968)

On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the bank to find out why they've taken $200 from me. By the time I show them my bank card, ID and tell them my problem, they accuse me of stealing my own identity, and refuse to give me my money back. FML

#20561553
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32794) - you deserved it (2104)

On 03/26/2013 at 9:37pm - money - by arsenicalhumor (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML

#20553373
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48402) - you deserved it (6250)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:25am - misc - by me (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: