emmingle

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Offline (the 12/04/2015 at 12:16am)

emmingle

30Fucked!

emmingle
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15809
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 30 posted

About emmingle : Czech-Canadian trying to make it big as a crayon designer.

emmingle's page activity

Visits<b>Geoffelosophy</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 1:03pm<b>Seeyounarabish</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 12:15am<b>TheHinduHomie</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 7:53am<b>george_s_4</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 7:28am<b>Supernova116</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 8:20pm<b>dbpdp</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 5:56pm<b>leo2g1</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 10:07pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 9:49am<b>LeChef</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 6:45am<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 6:39pm<b>Aberous</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 12:18pm<b>biggredd75</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 9:56am<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 10:49pm<b>lfloyd0504</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 10:24pm<b>kristadc</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 9:21pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 11:20pm<b>SuperDani</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 4:01pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 12:47pm

Fucked!<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 12:39am<b>pks2014</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 4:20am<b>dom_g</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 7:53am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 3:08am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 6:10am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 2:29am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 8:42pm<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 7:39pm<b>AscendV</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 7:26am<b>Amaury56</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:08pm<b>imkool136</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 10:18am<b>bomzo</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 10:02am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 8:02am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 12:00am<b>TacoloverSWE</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 4:39pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:04pm<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:08pm<b>patts_</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 9:55am

emmingle's FML badges

I like your style

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You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of emmingle's badges

emmingle's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

by icanthearyou / 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

by anonymous / 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my sister gave my laptop away and dumped a pile of her hamster's turds on my bed. All of this because I flushed the toilet while she was in the shower last night. FML

by poop / 04/03/2013 at 2:45pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML

by SoClose / 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 5:17am / United States / Kids

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML

by kenabrookee / 04/03/2013 at 1:48am / United States (California) / Love

Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Work

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

Today, after two and a half hours of travel, it was finally my stop on the train. I politely waited for a group of women to get off first. They took so long to move that the train doors closed. I shouted at one through the door to call the conductor. She watched and smiled as the train departed. FML

by CrimsonAmaryllis / 04/01/2013 at 12:37pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Transportation

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2013 at 12:38am / United States / Work

Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML

by not funny but :( / 03/28/2013 at 12:24pm / United States (Ohio) / Holidays

Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML

by soontobesingle / 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Love

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to the bank to find out why they've taken $200 from me. By the time I show them my bank card, ID and tell them my problem, they accuse me of stealing my own identity, and refuse to give me my money back. FML

by arsenicalhumor / 03/26/2013 at 9:37pm / Canada (Quebec) / Money

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML

by me / 03/21/2013 at 6:25am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous