emmingle

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Offline (the 12/04/2015 at 12:16am)

emmingle

31Fucked!

emmingle
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16700
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 30 posted

About emmingle : Czech-Canadian trying to make it big as a crayon designer.

emmingle's page activity

Visits<b>maggeei</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 12:40am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 8:53am<b>SOILEDIT</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 3:53am<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 8:18pm<b>ifuckuprandomly</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 10:54am<b>NoFightinDestiny</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 3:35pm<b>connorcaffery</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 1:20pm<b>Geoffelosophy</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 1:03pm<b>Seeyounarabish</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 12:15am<b>TheHinduHomie</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 7:53am<b>george_s_4</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 7:28am<b>Supernova116</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 8:20pm<b>dbpdp</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 5:56pm<b>leo2g1</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 10:07pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 9:49am<b>LeChef</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 6:45am<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 6:39pm<b>Aberous</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 12:18pm

Fucked!<b>ifuckuprandomly</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 4:54pm<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 12:39am<b>pks2014</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 4:20am<b>dom_g</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 7:53am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 3:08am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 6:10am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 2:29am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 8:42pm<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 7:39pm<b>AscendV</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 7:26am<b>Amaury56</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:08pm<b>imkool136</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 10:18am<b>bomzo</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 10:02am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 8:02am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 12:00am<b>TacoloverSWE</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 4:39pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 12:04pm<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:08pm

emmingle's FML badges

I like your style

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Inception

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Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of emmingle's badges

emmingle's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

by emmingle / 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

by emmingle / 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

by more than I wanted to know / 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Intimacy

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

by tdrtnlz / 05/11/2013 at 2:25am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

by FenRackety / 05/10/2013 at 8:37am / Canada / Animals

Today, the woman I babysat for blamed me for the cut on her son's face, and fired me with no pay for not looking after him properly. He already had the cut when I arrived. FML

by rachelllynne / 05/09/2013 at 1:44pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Kids

Today, as with every day, I had to endure my roommate talking to his wife in a baby voice. This is a grown man, who has had a beard since junior high, who literally talks to her like you would a puppy or a baby. Someone kill me. FML

Today, I let my dad put my dollar in the slot machine for me because I'm not old enough to gamble. I won $200 but he kept it because he "put the dollar in the slot machine." FML

by anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Wyoming) / Money

Today, I was leaving my doctor's appointment when a nurse stopped me. She exclaimed, "Wow you are so skinny! What's your secret?" My secret? Having an autoimmune disease. FML

by HamSandwich12 / 05/08/2013 at 10:17am / United States (Ohio) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

by perfecttiming / 05/06/2013 at 11:25am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

by ADickySituation / 05/05/2013 at 12:14am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I stressed out preparing for our one week holiday. We packed for the whole day, said goodbye to everyone and arrived at the airport quite exhausted after a 45-minute train ride. Turns out our flight isn't until tomorrow. The check-in lady couldn't stop laughing. FML

by Tickettoride / 05/04/2013 at 6:24am / Austria (Wien) / Holidays

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

by prostitott / 05/04/2013 at 3:22am / Kids

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous