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emmingle

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emmingle
  • Town/Country : Vancouver, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4565
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 21 posted

About emmingle : I probably won't message you back

emmingle's last visitors

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emmingle's favorite FMLs

Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20055) - you deserved it (37395)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML

#20632227
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37721) - you deserved it (8153)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:50am - love - by Porter_Robinson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, six weeks before my wedding, my mother decided to claim that she never agreed on paying for it and that she doesn't think she will. Now I have six weeks to scavenge enough cash for the wedding she planned in the first place. FML

#20626669
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46526) - you deserved it (3726)

On 04/28/2013 at 12:29am - money - by need_cash_now (man) - United States

Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML

#20624598
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49314) - you deserved it (3074)

On 04/27/2013 at 4:28am - misc - by whathehell (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, nobody wants to hang out with me due to a nasty rumor that my ex has spread. No one will tell me what was said, because I apparently "know full well" what I did. FML

#20624422
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47108) - you deserved it (3342)

On 04/27/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by dabull (man) - United States

Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML

#20620111
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56512) - you deserved it (11101)

On 04/25/2013 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Live Sweet -

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

#20618965
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43645) - you deserved it (24303)

On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML

#20609675
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48509) - you deserved it (3294)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by gamerguru13 - United States (New York)

Today, I learned what live maggots in chocolate cake taste like. FML

#20606960
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45601) - you deserved it (6561)

On 04/20/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by MaggotMother (woman) - United States

Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML

#20599573
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40696) - you deserved it (8740)

On 04/17/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by pantydropper (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, I baked my friend a cake for his 21st birthday. When I arrived at his house, his girlfriend, who hadn't made him anything, screamed at me for "making her look bad." She then took the cake, banned me from the party, and kicked me out. FML

Today, I had to give a 15-minute presentation for a conference. I hadn't had the time to write out a proper speech so I decided to just wing it. My sponsor liked my presentation so much he wants me to turn it into an article. Now if only I could remember what I said. FML

#20575166
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32697) - you deserved it (10598)

On 04/04/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by BrillianceSucks (woman) - Canada

Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML

#20575140
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35534) - you deserved it (3207)

On 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm - kids - by icanthearyou (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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