About emmingle : Czech-Canadian trying to make it big as a crayon designer.
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emmingle's favorite FMLs
by shylahrc / 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by HeyTherexxx / 04/20/2014 at 9:02pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML
by freakedout / 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML
by Brody89 / 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML
by Spooprfailed / 04/08/2014 at 1:32am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
by watch_corn_dance / 04/07/2014 at 10:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/06/2014 at 2:09pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by kubbyp / 04/03/2014 at 5:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML
by that kind of girl / 04/01/2014 at 8:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by anon / 03/31/2014 at 6:10pm / United States (New York) / Health
by Jaime / 03/31/2014 at 6:05pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2014 at 1:14am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML
by cat whisperer / 03/20/2014 at 12:31am / United States / Animals
by naesha / 03/16/2014 at 9:40pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/12/2014 at 2:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids
- Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door… Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said… Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear…