Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emmaa3451

Search for a member

emmaa3451
  • Town/Country : Vancouver, Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 August 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 423
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About emmaa3451 : *insert long and carefully thought out autobiography*

emmaa3451's last visitors

tmonster13SofiaFaolanMzZombicidalhowrudoinLacalemaNotAGingerSoSickWithItmokshaCaptainPickles72

emmaa3451's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of emmaa3451's badges

emmaa3451's favorite FMLs

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

#19636486
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19149) - you deserved it (2769)

On 05/17/2012 at 11:02am - love - by Vero (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)

Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed. She slipped her hand under the duvet, and I got all excited thinking she was going to give me a hand job. She was actually pulling out her wedgie. FML

#19416403
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16372) - you deserved it (8040)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:10am - intimacy - by TJ - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML

#19387058
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18967) - you deserved it (3947)

On 04/01/2012 at 6:08am - love - by BigBangCheater (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

#19336672
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20913) - you deserved it (7626)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

#19318409
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27356) - you deserved it (18125)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

#19312458
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4950) - you deserved it (27262)

On 03/20/2012 at 4:16am - misc - by argh (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my best friend informed me that she has been sleeping with my boyfriend. She tried to justify it by saying, "He's just going to break up with you anyway." FML

#19248875
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26549) - you deserved it (1682)

On 03/10/2012 at 12:12am - love - by best friend! - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML

#19156004
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27597) - you deserved it (3027)

On 02/24/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by music man (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML

#18626777
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39799) - you deserved it (2059)

On 12/27/2011 at 5:32pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7861) - you deserved it (50661)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42607) - you deserved it (4022)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML

#18326133
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22919) - you deserved it (17535)

On 11/23/2011 at 11:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my landlord is too cheap to turn up the hot water tank enough to have a comfortable shower. There's a huge padlock on the door, she won't budge, and I'm signed in until December. FML

#17962852
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16270) - you deserved it (1668)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:05pm - misc - by frigid - (Alberta)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18838) - you deserved it (42233)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: