Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emma_baker16

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

emma_baker16

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 79
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

emma_baker16's page activity

Visits<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:35am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 3:47pm

emma_baker16's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of emma_baker16's badges

emma_baker16's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML

#21320813
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31811) - you deserved it (2421)

On 12/20/2014 at 9:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

#21315476
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41726) - you deserved it (3121)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:01am - love - by Brasilian29 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor showed me footage of my 7-year-old son spraying his beloved rose garden with weed killer. The whole garden is dead as fuck, and I'm now being taken to small claims court. FML

#21311905
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32986) - you deserved it (7087)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was dressed as a single girl. I wore pajama pants, hoodie with no bra, and carried a plate of pizza around. But it wasn't my costume, I just had nowhere to go for Halloween. FML

#21289481
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32402) - you deserved it (4481)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by 4evalone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33578) - you deserved it (15727)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the guy I really like acknowledged my existence for the first time. Too bad it was through a text saying "lol ur a fat fukc". FML

#21271187
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37700) - you deserved it (4061)

On 10/05/2014 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45574) - you deserved it (7168)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44692) - you deserved it (7111)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55469) - you deserved it (3540)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50450) - you deserved it (3525)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

#18134142
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33444) - you deserved it (15297)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34740) - you deserved it (5473)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad came to my graduate art show wearing a t-shirt saying "My other daughter is a science major". He'd had it specially made. FML

#16341041
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41136) - you deserved it (7191)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:06am - misc - by art_major (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML

#13068914
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49452) - you deserved it (4124)

On 09/16/2010 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "wtf am I doing," he kissed my boob. FML

#4021792
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18269) - you deserved it (50821)

On 07/25/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: