About emily4040 : I'm Emily and I'm a softball player. I'm graduating high school this year and you can message me but don't be a creep like some people...
emily4040's FML badges
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
emily4040's favorite FMLs
Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML
by Anonymous / 09/19/2014 at 11:30am / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/13/2014 at 2:56am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Stop_HammerTime / 08/04/2014 at 9:51am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Holidays
by WickedRene / 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I got sent to the head teacher's office for doing "stupid hand gestures and disrupting the class". Yesterday my teacher told the class to do the same hand gesture to ask for permission to go to the toilet so it wouldn't interrupt her talking. FML
by Bad Teacher / 08/01/2014 at 1:24am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML
by Anonymous / 07/30/2014 at 4:21am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Kids
by anonyme / 07/30/2014 at 2:51am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous
by rejected / 07/28/2014 at 6:09pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML
by FML / 07/24/2014 at 11:59am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years old and got beat up by a group of 10 year olds. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 12:01pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML
by Face fucking palm / 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML
by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML
by Sheh / 07/16/2014 at 11:02am / Sweden / Animals
- Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance… Today, I finally got to watch some porn after not being able to for a while. All I could notice in… Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we…