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emiir65's favorite FMLs
by chellegbelle / 05/14/2014 at 5:46pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Not-pregnant / 04/20/2014 at 1:21pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML
by campus pussy / 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by NotInTheRightPlace / 03/17/2014 at 2:18pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting my nephew and we decided to color together. He drew a picture of someone who looked dead, almost zombie-like, while everyone else looked pretty normal. When I asked who it was, he said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML
by BondingTime / 03/17/2014 at 5:51am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm / United Kingdom (Portsmouth) / Miscellaneous
by kenzamee / 03/04/2014 at 9:39am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML
by SarahNB / 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm / United States (Utah) / Money
Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML
by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health
Today, during a lecture, my teacher jokingly talked about the time he was best buds with George Washington. Another student then asked, "Really? You knew him?" I'm in an advanced placement U.S. history class. FML
by Dsark / 02/19/2014 at 12:12am / United States (California) / Work
Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML
by molliciousj / 02/19/2014 at 12:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by nana_star / 02/14/2014 at 2:59am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Love
Today, my house is on lockdown. I recently moved to Georgia from Rhode Island to be with my boyfriend. The state is on high alert for an ice storm. I'm stuck inside with my terrified boyfriend, who's calling it "the storm of the century". I used to walk to school in this weather. FML
by Stuck / 02/12/2014 at 1:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As… Today, I was hit with a sudden onset of diarrhea and had to use the washroom on the train. As soon… Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make…