Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

emeraldisle

Online | Search for a member

emeraldisle

79Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 November 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5651
  • Number of comments : 634
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About emeraldisle : I'm awesome.

After being on this site for a while, I've come to realise that sarcasm and humour are lost on a lot of people.

emeraldisle's page activity

Visits<b>LadyLuck93</b> - yesterday at 8:21pm<b>cole_tyler42</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 4:48pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 12:00am<b>JessMac9000</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:36pm<b>queensassygoat</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 2:01am<b>thesnypist8</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 10:55pm<b>shain1988</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:04pm<b>ShadJV</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 5:29pm<b>the_doc</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 2:39pm<b>kovalsky</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 5:36am<b>Big_Bear99</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:49am<b>premo25</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:19am<b>AngusEcrivain</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:02am<b>avadakedabra</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 2:56am<b>Galacticain</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:36am<b>stangluv</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 5:36pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 10:58am<b>Wiringify</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:18am

Fucked!<b>the_doc</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:39pm<b>Lukeeeeee</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 2:12am<b>Lane_Lander300</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 3:37pm<b>NathanWilley</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 4:10am<b>Matheo</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 11:24pm<b>Mmorpheus</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:13pm<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:48pm<b>JoeOfDoom</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 8:00am<b>mattgainey</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:12am<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:57am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:50am<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:50am<b>damiens123456</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:33am<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:29am<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:20am<b>insertnamehere37</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:33am<b>platypus546</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:22pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 7:12am

emeraldisle's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of emeraldisle's badges

emeraldisle's favorite FMLs

Today, I was changing my clothes with my dog in the room. As I took off my shirt, he looked at me, ran into the corner, and threw up. Well that's a confidence booster. FML

#21450074
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12110) - you deserved it (1095)

On 07/31/2015 at 2:55pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML

#21447461
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15873) - you deserved it (11723)

On 07/26/2015 at 10:27am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML

#21445902
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (1642)

On 07/23/2015 at 9:05am - animals - by dirtbikeguy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML

#21442630
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24216) - you deserved it (4290)

On 07/16/2015 at 3:22pm - misc - by Boneo and Juliet - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked nice in my profile picture. I began to reply "Aww, thank you!" until he sent another message saying "Mostly because your face isn't in it." FML

#21442569
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22538) - you deserved it (2462)

On 07/16/2015 at 1:03pm - love - by hayleediaz - United States (California)

Today, I found a picture of myself on the "People of Walmart" site. FML

#21439858
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28932) - you deserved it (16262)

On 07/11/2015 at 1:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML

#21438347
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22889) - you deserved it (3924)

On 07/08/2015 at 3:04am - animals - by coolcat10156 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while reading my girlfriends kid's a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML

#21437640
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23906) - you deserved it (2080)

On 07/06/2015 at 10:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

#21437094
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25241) - you deserved it (2537)

On 07/05/2015 at 11:18pm - misc - by madisonnkelly - United States (Texas)

Today, a cute guy asked me if I was single. When I said yes, he said "Yeah, you look like the type", and walked away. FML

#21428639
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26904) - you deserved it (2012)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sick, and my voice was really low and raspy. A cute guy smiled at me and said hi, so I said hi too. He looked shocked and said, "Sorry bro, thought you were a girl." I am. FML

#21421148
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28127) - you deserved it (1999)

On 06/05/2015 at 8:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29462) - you deserved it (3954)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML

#21416018
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26458) - you deserved it (2450)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:12am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

#21414323
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27647) - you deserved it (2656)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:51am - kids - by DaoOfPow (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

#21413610
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31646) - you deserved it (2797)

On 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: