About eliiteXXXninja : Jamaican 🇯🇲
From The 2️⃣0️⃣1️⃣
About eliiteXXXninja : Jamaican 🇯🇲
eliiteXXXninja's FML badges
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
eliiteXXXninja's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend of 5 years gave me the "I'm not in love with you anymore" speech. I saw it coming, so I'd planned to play it cool by saying, "If you're sure it's something we can't fix, I'd rather not talk about it". After a while, I realised I was just sitting there like a child, fidgeting and shaking. FML
by Satch / 03/16/2016 at 5:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, I forgot my phone on the roof of my car. I took a 30 minute drive from my friend's city to my city. I got on to my driveway, surprised to see my phone still there. Thinking I'm really lucky, I pick up my phone. Then, I trip over a pebble, cracking my phone in the process. FML
by Anonymous / 03/11/2016 at 7:20am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by IhadToTakeCareOfTraumatizedFish / 03/03/2016 at 12:32am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, some muscle-head showed up at my house and started beating on me. Turned out my son had been posing online as a Navy SEAL, using a picture of me, and had dared this guy to come over and fight him. FML
by Anonymous / 03/02/2016 at 12:54pm / United States (Iowa) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/14/2016 at 11:51pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my son told me that he doesn't need to go to school because he doesn't need a job. It turns out he plans to get a life sentence in prison and live the rest of his life at the taxpayers' expense. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2015 at 12:20am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
by iskalion / 10/10/2015 at 1:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, after saying I'd edit and revise a coworker's report so he could go home and spend his anniversary with his wife, he sent me a file. Upon opening it, it was pictures of men wearing strange fetish gear while being dominated. He has yet to send me the correct file and I'm scared to ask. FML
by Anonymous / 09/28/2015 at 4:33pm / United States (Nevada) / Work
by philosophicallll / 09/28/2015 at 4:25pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Animals
by Failed_Dad / 09/25/2015 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 2:32am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Love
by Razz / 07/15/2015 at 6:02pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up in my living room after having a party. I then realized my fish tank with many different species was missing from its usual spot. After searching for a few minutes, I finally found it in the freezer. FML
by Anonymous / 05/25/2015 at 12:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by Vexatious / 05/22/2015 at 12:27pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous