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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 30 August 2000 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 617
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About eliiteXXXninja : Jamaican 🇯🇲
From The 2️⃣0️⃣1️⃣

eliiteXXXninja's page activity

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eliiteXXXninja's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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eliiteXXXninja's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. He couldn't get hard and pouted about it for nearly two hours. When I went to comfort him, he said "Man, I hope I'm not gay." FML


I agree, your life sucks (23248) - you deserved it (1953)

On 01/14/2016 at 11:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my son told me that he doesn't need to go to school because he doesn't need a job. It turns out he plans to get a life sentence in prison and live the rest of his life at the taxpayers' expense. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28317) - you deserved it (3553)

On 10/11/2015 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24747) - you deserved it (5079)

On 10/10/2015 at 1:39am - misc - by iskalion (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after saying I'd edit and revise a coworker's report so he could go home and spend his anniversary with his wife, he sent me a file. Upon opening it, it was pictures of men wearing strange fetish gear while being dominated. He has yet to send me the correct file and I'm scared to ask. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25335) - you deserved it (1813)

On 09/28/2015 at 4:33pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my dad introduced me as his pet orangutan. I'm a redhead. FML

Today, with the most certainty and confidence that I have ever seen in her, my 16-year-old daughter told me an egg is a fruit because of its "hard shell and growing seed." FML


I agree, your life sucks (23128) - you deserved it (2573)

On 09/25/2015 at 1:42am - kids - by Failed_Dad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28709) - you deserved it (4420)

On 08/19/2015 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I got fired, apparently for being racist to black people. When I told my boyfriend, he couldn't stop laughing. He's black. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32411) - you deserved it (3161)

On 07/15/2015 at 6:02pm - misc - by Razz - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up in my living room after having a party. I then realized my fish tank with many different species was missing from its usual spot. After searching for a few minutes, I finally found it in the freezer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28825) - you deserved it (8004)

On 05/25/2015 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was my first experience having sex. It was also my first experience with a condom breaking. FML

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML


I agree, your life sucks (32094) - you deserved it (2259)

On 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50433) - you deserved it (7172)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55103) - you deserved it (4716)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45195) - you deserved it (4488)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

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