About elibel : Freshman in college
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elibel's favorite FMLs
Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML
by embaressed / 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML
by Eeeek / 08/26/2010 at 5:17pm / Bulgaria (Varna) / Intimacy
by Lace / 08/23/2010 at 12:17am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I had a fancy dinner date with a really hot guy. Near the end of our meal, he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. As soon as we walked in the door, he started a religious debate with his room mate. It's been 45 minutes and its still going. FML
by holycrap / 03/03/2010 at 12:37am / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I applied and was accepted for a part-time network engineering position. Being contract work they asked me what I charge. I replied, "$12 an hour." After a look of surprise they accepted me for the position and said, "Our last guy charged $200 an hour, you're a bargain." FML
by compguy / 02/25/2010 at 10:39am / United States (New York) / Money
Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML
by pinky / 02/12/2010 at 12:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by SickSmick / 02/09/2010 at 7:22am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health
by MackeyBoy / 01/23/2010 at 1:15pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
by ilovesocks / 01/20/2010 at 1:17am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years role-plays on the internet, pretending to have sex with men. His response when I confronted him about it? "Which specific incidents are you referring to?" FML
by heterolifepartner / 01/18/2010 at 1:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
by eatmyshipoopie / 12/18/2009 at 10:20am / United Kingdom (Neath Port Talbot) / Intimacy
by Frauded / 12/16/2009 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, since we hadn't been romantic for a long time, I shaved, took a bath, cut my hair and snuggled up to my husband in bed. He got up, went to the computer, masturbated to porn, came back to bed and asked me what was for breakfast. FML
by Inkabadger / 11/20/2009 at 1:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…