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elfcat

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elfcat

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1467
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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elfcat's page activity

Visits<b>SmittyJA24</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 10:06pm

elfcat's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of elfcat's badges

elfcat's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

#21460430
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18543) - you deserved it (7819)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:10am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24502) - you deserved it (8944)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, my only pair of shoes that I brought got stolen at the airport while I was being checked by security. I'm now stuck 1000 miles from home with no shoes. FML

#21456823
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23388) - you deserved it (2190)

On 08/16/2015 at 7:18pm - misc - by NOOOOOO - United States

Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML

#21456323
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22570) - you deserved it (1643)

On 08/15/2015 at 11:47am - work - by bruised - United States (Florida)

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

#21449227
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26607) - you deserved it (1526)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm - health - by Crap (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while working security at my job, for the second time, a man with Down's Syndrome entered the store, went to one of the demo computers, opened YouTube, pulled up a video of oiled women wrestling and jerked off. There is no protocol in the handbook for how to deal with this scenario. FML

Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML

#21439547
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26029) - you deserved it (3008)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by wantmeasandwich (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I accidentally sat on my sister's imaginary monkey. She then stabbed me with a pencil. I still can't get the piece of graphite out of my hand. FML

#21430170
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24970) - you deserved it (2310)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:10pm - kids - by vkryss13 - Guam

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17611) - you deserved it (32952)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my girlfriend keeps my toenails in her deceased grandmother's prized music box. She says it's to, "Keep the box natural." I don't understand why she does this, or what she means by "natural." FML

#21383678
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24277) - you deserved it (2056)

On 03/29/2015 at 5:18pm - misc - by coldasfire - United States

Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML

#21382179
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22459) - you deserved it (8766)

On 03/26/2015 at 11:28pm - misc - by comfort_ - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86) - you deserved it (204)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18818) - you deserved it (35722)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while correcting essays, I spilled ketchup on a student's paper. I managed to successfully turn it into a happy smiley face but when proudly looking at the result, noticed it was right next to the big "F" that I had graded it. FML

#21352870
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23838) - you deserved it (9193)

On 02/09/2015 at 5:58pm - work - by tirf -

Today, my boss informed me I couldn't go on my "vacation" because he's leaving for one of his employees' weddings. That just so happens to be my wedding, for which I'm taking the vacation. FML



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