elephantsarecute

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Offline (the 03/21/2016 at 12:28am)

elephantsarecute

2Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5609
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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elephantsarecute's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 9:43am<b>SoundGood</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 11:27am<b>firefox9778</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 1:56am<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 4:28pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 8:39am<b>CaptainCore993</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 1:50pm<b>midnight_tiger</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:23pm<b>SophieMoph</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 7:57pm<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 3:46am<b>rossdavids</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 11:20am<b>R3TROxLOV3</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 2:33am<b>hogman500</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 5:42pm<b>persianninja</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:17pm<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 12:13am<b>HarrisonVR</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 6:15pm<b>BunkBeds</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 2:45am<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 4:31am<b>HippieGaming</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 11:09pm

Fucked!<b>JCX2</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 5:38am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:57pm

elephantsarecute's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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elephantsarecute's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML

by longsock123 / 04/30/2013 at 11:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

by obnum / 04/18/2013 at 10:37am / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML

by save the koalas? uhh / 04/08/2013 at 10:08am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML

by badparent / 04/08/2013 at 12:26am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, after paying for my groceries, I noticed that a bread-roll hadn't been charged. I felt guilty and went back to the register to pay for it. The cashier burst into derisive laughter and mockingly asked me if I was "running for Pope or something". FML

by moosy0_o / 04/07/2013 at 3:22pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2013 at 12:26pm / United States / Work

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

by dumb tourists / 03/31/2013 at 2:19am / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

by MsCobb / 02/16/2013 at 10:27am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2013 at 6:22pm / Venezuela (Lara) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

by ineedalife / 02/02/2013 at 7:08am / Australia / Miscellaneous