elephantom12

Search for a member

elephantom12

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1366
  • Number of comments : 167
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About elephantom12 : Ello'

elephantom12's page activity

Visits<b>Artures_way1</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 10:00pm<b>david66</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 9:01am<b>HelloHolaBonjour</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 12:52am<b>refticon</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 11:33am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 12:41pm<b>Nyleriver</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 6:12pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 12:09pm<b>Xhase</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 9:24pm<b>futuremisty</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:32pm<b>KobeLebroJordan</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 1:39pm<b>0XBlazeX0</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:32pm<b>Plastinate</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:59pm<b>Kiziku</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 1:03pm<b>me_ni</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 3:40am<b>Bree06</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 3:59am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 11:16pm<b>LivClaire96</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:59am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:52pm

Fucked!<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 6:41pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 10:47pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 5:16am

elephantom12's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of elephantom12's badges

elephantom12's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

by 504-A1 / 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I spent 3 hours trying to read my dog's mind. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 2:57am / United States / Animals

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

by mrricecakes / 03/23/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I realized how bad my feelings of inadequacy compared to other women and jealousy are when I started thumbing down songs on Pandora simply because the cover art had a better looking woman than me on it. FML

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML

by TerribleAddiction / 02/15/2012 at 12:50pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

by Crashburn / 01/16/2012 at 6:09am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

by KayleeXLoVe21 / 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 12:30pm / Reserved / Intimacy