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eilearose

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eilearose
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 840
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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eilearose's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that the gap between the elevator and the 6th floor landing of my apartment building is approximately one key's width wide. FML

#5525122
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36627) - you deserved it (2995)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41099) - you deserved it (3914)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I played a goth character in my friend's student film with goth clothes, lip ring, eyeliner, etc. We went into Starbucks at break and an elderly man came up to me and said "Your kind is the reason for all the bad stuff in this world" and then spat in my $5 drink. FML

#5141250
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38999) - you deserved it (4548)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by comet5002 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7240) - you deserved it (73128)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in the car for 8 hours driving home from North Carolina with my family. We brought my dog along and I was petting her for most of the ride. I thought she fell asleep, so I continued to play with her. She never woke up. I played with a dead dog for almost an hour and a half. FML

#4464455
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55214) - you deserved it (3657)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:13am - animals - by jennabean (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandfather was counting all the grandchildren he had and saying how fortunate he was to have all of us. When I pointed out that he'd forgotten to count me, he turned and said "You're adopted, you don't count as a real grandchild" FML

#4277712
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80087) - you deserved it (3639)

On 08/04/2009 at 8:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I went on the large bungee drop at the West Edmonton Mall waterpark. As I was falling, my bikini top came off. I had to wait for the bungee rope to stop moving and the life guard to release the ankle strap. FML

#4056624
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37651) - you deserved it (12025)

On 07/26/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by HorrorByrd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML

#3686221
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7726) - you deserved it (56774)

On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went with my sister to get our eyebrows waxed. I didn't think my eyebrows were that bad--and they weren't! When the guy waxed my eyebrows, he gestured my lips and said, "Moustache, too?" Mortified, I said, "No!" to which he replied, "Aw, someone no get kissy tonight." FML

#3658638
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39360) - you deserved it (8839)

On 07/11/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by RR (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
626 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22016) - you deserved it (253218)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I didn't have any money to buy a tampon from the dispenser at my school but my hands are small enough so I can just slide them up and grab one. My hand got stuck in the dispenser and my school had to call the fire department. Now everyone calls me tampon girl. FML

#1493911
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27193) - you deserved it (61505)

On 04/30/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by obeezy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

#1427967
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13031) - you deserved it (51880)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I was taking the bus home. A dirty homeless man boarded the bus, put his bag on the overhead rack, and sat down. His bag was leaking and dripped onto my shoulder. I asked the man what it was. He said, "Roadkill." I now have dead animal blood on my best business suit. FML

#1306375
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47146) - you deserved it (2607)

On 04/24/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Lo_Bolian (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

#873760
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23410) - you deserved it (57643)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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