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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 December 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2284
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About ehrmagahd : I work as a cashier/florist/sampler/baker. I have some hella interesting stories to tell.

ehrmagahd's page activity

Visits<b>Emma1562</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 1:58pm<b>RhiannonMuh</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 3:36am<b>adrianb_rod</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 1:16am<b>fader402</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 4:22pm<b>RockyLovesARacer</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 8:38pm<b>jet223</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 6:57pm<b>ashby_nail</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 10:30am<b>dno79</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 10:52pm<b>Uiowa_biology</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 11:43am<b>XCOwens98</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 6:58pm<b>Draysor</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 6:45am<b>SweetMaria</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 1:35am<b>Azlarus</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 12:57pm<b>roman11</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 1:28pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 1:00am<b>player20270</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 12:13am<b>Birdmad</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 1:08am<b>Shamandalie89</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 9:40am

Fucked!<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 8:37pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:45pm

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ehrmagahd's favorite FMLs

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML

by oh ffs / 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weather for my bus. When it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on the icy ground. The driver waited a whole 2 seconds before snorting, "Ain't nobody got time for this shit", closing the doors, and driving off. FML

by frozensolid / 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm / United States / Love

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

by Job Seeking / 01/22/2013 at 6:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

by Keastwood013 / 01/18/2013 at 10:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML

by Ari / 01/16/2013 at 1:36am / Health

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

by veggieluver / 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML

by Sydney / 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

by Nightmare / 01/15/2013 at 9:41am / Kids

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

by Brooke / 01/15/2013 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

by IvyLeague? / 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML

by shiney100893 / 01/14/2013 at 7:56am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love