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Offline (the 01/03/2016 at 9:31pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7996
  • Number of comments : 253
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About eggmarie : I'm Erika, I'm 20, and you probably shouldn't take me seriously.

eggmarie's page activity

Visits<b>XRayXLopez1</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 1:54pm<b>draftskink</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 4:41pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 1:29pm<b>Jkalia</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 1:25am<b>Epickiller</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 8:04am<b>Rich531</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 7:48pm<b>AwkwardBookworm</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 5:23pm<b>lombcover</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 12:17am<b>Cyntha</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 8:13am<b>fredyjabe</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 1:56am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:36pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 8:46am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 1:06pm<b>Arieslink</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 3:08pm<b>Tractor_Bait</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:02pm<b>DumbledoreDies1</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 12:54pm<b>itsalanis</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 9:10pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:03am

Fucked!<b>Rich531</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 12:48am<b>fredyjabe</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 7:56am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 7:06pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 3:57pm

eggmarie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of eggmarie's badges

eggmarie's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend clearly stated that I was "useless" when on my period. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 1:02am / United States / Love

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

by KaySchrages92 / 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute because he tried to kill his mother. He also told me we will be together forever. I'm scared. FML

by bubba / 10/17/2011 at 6:02am / China / Love

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

by myasshurts / 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML

by Username / 10/09/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

by DeadScared / 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my mom admitted that she always makes me put away the dishes because my obsessive compulsive tendencies force me to arrange the glasses and silverware by size, just the way she likes them. FML

by Awesome. / 09/14/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

by I_dislike_Twilight / 09/08/2011 at 8:52am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

by Brie / 09/05/2011 at 9:00am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

by dragos_dgt / 09/02/2011 at 3:48am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Work

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

by mannydanny / 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

by KJL / 08/29/2011 at 11:38am / United States / Health