eggmarie

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Offline (the 01/03/2016 at 9:31pm)

eggmarie

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7051
  • Number of comments : 253
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 10 posted

About eggmarie : I'm Erika, I'm 20, and you probably shouldn't take me seriously.

eggmarie's page activity

Visits<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 1:29pm<b>Jkalia</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 1:25am<b>Epickiller</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 8:04am<b>Rich531</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 7:48pm<b>AwkwardBookworm</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 5:23pm<b>lombcover</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 12:17am<b>Cyntha</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 8:13am<b>fredyjabe</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 1:56am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:36pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 8:46am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 1:06pm<b>Arieslink</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 3:08pm<b>Tractor_Bait</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:02pm<b>DumbledoreDies1</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 12:54pm<b>itsalanis</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 9:10pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:03am<b>alex_gen</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 8:02pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 10:09pm

Fucked!<b>Rich531</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 12:48am<b>fredyjabe</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 7:56am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 7:06pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 3:57pm

eggmarie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of eggmarie's badges

eggmarie's favorite FMLs

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

by mykodu / 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my boyfriend bought yet another video game and played it all afternoon. Unlike me, our parrot is taking this situation rather well: for the past two hours he's been repeating, over and over, "EA Sports, it's in the game." FML

by Apcn / 06/05/2014 at 4:05pm / France (Bretagne) / Animals

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm / United States / Love

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

by Confused / 04/16/2014 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer threw his hot coffee all over me, because it was taking "too long" for their credit card to be approved. FML

by cwl727 / 04/09/2014 at 12:49pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally finished watching Dexter. I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me. FML

by disappointed / 03/25/2014 at 7:36am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML

by kittkatt1 / 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

by Something I said? / 11/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

by suckstosuck / 07/23/2013 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

by hamburger / 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals