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egc573's favorite FMLs
by Beth / 04/28/2013 at 9:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2013 at 7:20am / Slovakia / Miscellaneous
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 08/03/2011 at 10:33am / United States / Intimacy
by chinchilla4404 / 08/02/2011 at 10:17am / United States / Health
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
by Nickname / 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
by j / 07/25/2011 at 10:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by oouchh / 07/24/2011 at 8:22am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Love
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love
by Username / 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm / United States / Love
by cheddar / 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a band concert with 500 other people. The song they were performing stopped, and I loved it so much I stood up and clapped. Everyone stared, while I slowly realized the song wasn't over. FML
by RedFace / 04/05/2011 at 10:06am / United States / Miscellaneous
by lynn777 / 04/04/2011 at 4:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML
by Abyssal / 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
- Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat… Today, my future father in law motorboated my breasts as I bent down to give him a hug goodbye. The… Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She…