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efettes

Offline (the 09/21/2014 at 10:16pm) | Search for a member

efettes

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 January 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5089
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About efettes : Umm well I really don't know what to say... I've been a fan of the site forever and finally got an account :) message me and I will get back to you as soon as I see it :) (which may or may not be a couple days or even a week or two...)

efettes's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 4:59pm<b>saturday00</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 4:36pm<b>Shalinar</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 2:22pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:29am<b>xninix</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 6:46pm<b>devi_916</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 5:21pm<b>cheese7272</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:32am<b>tsent8</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 2:27pm<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 10:35pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 6:23am<b>katydid91</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 4:11am<b>y007346</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 11:39am<b>PhoenixRiver</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:51pm<b>T_Myles13</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:08pm<b>KickItHigh</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 5:46am<b>nightwings</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:13pm<b>Daisyflower89</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 4:17am<b>sammy1021</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:37am

efettes's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of efettes's badges

efettes's favorite FMLs

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

#21074731
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49213) - you deserved it (5619)

On 03/01/2014 at 5:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my car was found with a smashed window and a torn-apart steering column, in order to hot-wire it. The thief didn't get away with my car, though. The engine was in the garage, where I've been working on it for two days. FML

Today, my cat pissed all over my work clothes. They weren't even on the floor, she knocked the hanger down just so she could use them as a toilet. FML

#21073377
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36078) - you deserved it (4438)

On 02/27/2014 at 5:42pm - animals - by baxeh - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50875) - you deserved it (6705)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I'm eight months pregnant with my second child. My 18-month-old son loves to watch my belly move when his baby brother moves. And then loves to smack my belly. It's going to be a long eighteen years. FML

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

#21064527
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48409) - you deserved it (17868)

On 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31682) - you deserved it (47863)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52697) - you deserved it (18597)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54755) - you deserved it (6735)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47249) - you deserved it (4021)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

#21042040
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21684) - you deserved it (57495)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

#21040159
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45946) - you deserved it (9457)

On 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by mom - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

#21039277
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51720) - you deserved it (5860)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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