Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

edward80

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

edward80

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 February 1980 (35 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 453
  • Number of comments : 58
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 43 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

edward80's page activity

Visits<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - 2 hours ago<b>triplebeerox</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Allornone</b> - 18 hours ago<b>skiddymarker</b> - 20 hours ago<b>jessie85678</b> - yesterday at 11:33am<b>MyDadLeftMeInKFC</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:51am<b>luridz</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:04am<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 5:15pm<b>nick1777</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 5:04pm<b>lola4455</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 1:45pm<b>1Personation</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 2:31am<b>vlalam</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 8:33pm<b>ProximityToDeath</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:23pm<b>bebooneo</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:28am<b>arasx0</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:00pm<b>zenrael</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 3:33am<b>candygirl2015</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:21am<b>FiFiLovee</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:56am

Fucked!<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - just now<b>skiddymarker</b> - 14 hours ago<b>MyDadLeftMeInKFC</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 2:51pm<b>luridz</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:04am<b>vlalam</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 11:03pm<b>candygirl2015</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 6:54am<b>tori3700</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 3:44am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:11pm<b>briang959</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:01am<b>liquifiednate</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:14pm<b>tmd4L</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 1:31pm

edward80's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of edward80's badges

edward80's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33874) - you deserved it (2372)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonalds but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML

#21393641
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27914) - you deserved it (2207)

On 04/14/2015 at 5:17pm - kids - by Pandistoteles - United States

Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML

#21392651
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28251) - you deserved it (2359)

On 04/12/2015 at 10:51pm - misc - by mademoiselle meurtre (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was waiting in line at the check out, some guy came up behind me, plucked a hair out of my head, and ran off with it. FML

#21295452
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31453) - you deserved it (2550)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I took a video of a fellow employee doing nothing but watching YouTube videos at work. When I showed the video to my boss, hoping he'd be reprimanded, I got fired for operating video equipment on company grounds. FML

#21293428
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26564) - you deserved it (33472)

On 11/06/2014 at 2:09pm - work - by NoJobNovember - United States (Ohio)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40977) - you deserved it (4492)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. It was going well until I accidentally passed gas. To add to the embarrassment, he rated it. I only got a 4 out of 10. FML

#21165721
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39269) - you deserved it (7293)

On 06/07/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by embarrassed girl (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, less than a day after my cranky downstairs neighbor passed away, I woke up to banging sounds against his apartment ceiling, like the ones he used to make whenever I walked around during the night. I'm shitting myself in fear. FML

#21161740
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46398) - you deserved it (4343)

On 06/03/2014 at 3:01pm - misc - by mdsfkljsfsdrewr (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

#21159437
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48104) - you deserved it (5076)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I came down with diarrhea thanks to a particularly low-class restaurant. My dad has been making constant stupid puns like "pretty shitty state you're in" and "this day and age, you just don't expect this crap". I'm at the point where I want to gouge his eyes out with a goddamn spoon. FML

#21153372
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39851) - you deserved it (6994)

On 05/27/2014 at 1:04pm - health - by fuckmuppet (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4am. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML

#21142655
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43754) - you deserved it (4380)

On 05/17/2014 at 6:11am - misc - by frustrated - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

#21119972
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36864) - you deserved it (4714)

On 04/22/2014 at 2:59pm - kids - by wah wah "you raised him" (man) - United States (California)

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

#21096273
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41700) - you deserved it (3453)

On 03/25/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

#21087786
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40733) - you deserved it (19547)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25370) - you deserved it (55774)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: