About edris_305 : Meh ~_~
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edris_305's favorite FMLs
by Bleiz / 06/14/2016 at 3:41pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, as I was building furniture at work, I managed to get my fingernails ripped off and the tips mauled while cutting the wood for a nightstand. As my I was getting bandaged, one of my bosses looked at me and simply asked, "Why'd you stop working?" FML
by acf1233 / 06/14/2016 at 3:28pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Lonely, I am so lonely / 06/12/2016 at 9:41am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/12/2016 at 8:37am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by can't wait to go home / 06/10/2016 at 3:18pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2016 at 1:02pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, while working for a hospital security company, I had to assist in restraining a male patient while the nurses put a catheter in him. All I will say is that it looked like a worm trying to swallow a straw. FML
by Shock / 03/21/2016 at 4:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Work
by pantless / 03/21/2016 at 2:57pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my wife started a 24 hour urine collection as directed by the doctor for her pregnancy. She has to collect the urine in a gallon jug, and refrigerate it. At lunch time, I went to go get the rest of my sandwich but was unable to find it, until she suggested I "look under the piss jug." FML
by Nolimit2217 / 12/29/2014 at 5:07pm / United States / Love
Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML
by danielzcwu / 12/29/2014 at 2:11pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Transportation
by CalebNotShomo / 12/25/2014 at 10:25am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Rachel8896 / 08/15/2013 at 7:28am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML
by PapaMoti / 08/15/2013 at 4:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Money
by sisterly love / 08/14/2013 at 5:13pm / United States (California) / Kids