edneddy84

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edneddy84

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 28 April 1984 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14636
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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edneddy84's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:37am

edneddy84's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

edneddy84's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

by prickly / 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML

by traumatised / 10/11/2009 at 12:16pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Animals

Today, I had to chase my dog all the way down the street, watching in horror as she proudly showed all of my neighbors my bra. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2009 at 5:53pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I left home to start my new life at University. Saying goodbye to my mother, the last thing she said to me was "Don't turn gay". I'm gay. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2009 at 5:31am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with "YAY! I want to live with daddy! He buys better presents." Their father has literally never bought anything for them, the exact reason I'm divorcing him. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2009 at 10:24am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 7:36pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 12:27am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I must find a gentle way to tell my 71-year-old mother that she's too old to be wearing shirts that expose her belly. FML

by elmalo68 / 09/19/2009 at 9:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML

by weddingcrashed / 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face" while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML

by sara / 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

by sarahh38 / 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

by benander / 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy