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ed311

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ed311
  • Town/Country : England
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 January 1998 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 1487
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ed311 : Hi. I'm Ed. I live in England. That's it, really

ed311's last visitors

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ed311's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ed311's badges

ed311's favorite FMLs

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

#21112602
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37758) - you deserved it (4555)

On 04/14/2014 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML

#21112140
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35991) - you deserved it (4070)

On 04/13/2014 at 6:16pm - misc - by -.- - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my nephews discovered how to trick my washing machine into starting up while the door is still open. My laundry room is now flooded, and their mom refuses to accept any responsibility for it. FML

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, I graduated from Basic Training. I was really looking forward to seeing my family after being away for almost three months. They decided not to come to graduation because they didn't want to spend the money to travel here. They live 30 minutes away. FML

#21108820
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44960) - you deserved it (2738)

On 04/09/2014 at 7:47pm - money - by CheapFamily - United States

Today, a customer threw his hot coffee all over me, because it was taking "too long" for their credit card to be approved. FML

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

#21107985
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56562) - you deserved it (4931)

On 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm - misc - by Great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was being shown how to use a nail gun while applying for a job at a construction company. The instructor shot me in the arm with it. I didn't even get the job. FML

#21107174
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41872) - you deserved it (2731)

On 04/07/2014 at 10:13pm - work - by watch_corn_dance - United States (Illinois)

Today, I borrowed my friend's car to go deliver a tent I sold online. His possessive girlfriend tailed me, not knowing I was driving. She then rear-ended me when I stopped, thinking I was her man, and was cheating. When she realized the situation, she accused me of hiding him. FML

Today, I really needed to be cheered up a bit after having had a horrible, depressing weekend. Luckily the guy I've been dating for some time, and who I really like, invited me over for dinner. Apparently, he wanted to see me so he could tell me he thinks we should stop seeing each other. FML

Today, my grandmother is coming over to my family's house to stay for about a week or so. Apparently, the guest room window isn't big enough for her dream catcher, so she wants her cat to sleep in the guest room and she wants to sleep in my room. My parents support this. FML

#21103236
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38972) - you deserved it (3099)

On 04/02/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by themonesterman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML

#21102227
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36806) - you deserved it (3720)

On 04/01/2014 at 8:02pm - love - by that kind of girl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, disappointed with my results on a mathematics test, I went over it and realized my teacher had added up the marks incorrectly, leaving me with 17% less than I earned. The person who's supposed to be teaching me math can't even perform basic arithmetic. FML

#21101903
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38263) - you deserved it (3251)

On 04/01/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my neighbor yelled at me because, according to him, the sound of me scraping the ice off my windshield wakes him up every morning. This is the same neighbor who ran over my mailbox last week because there was too much snow on his windows to see properly. FML

#21101388
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37312) - you deserved it (2355)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:03pm - misc - by IcyWindows - United States (Utah)

Today, I was assigned to be the one to teach Grandpa how to use his new smartphone. An hour in, and we're still going over volume controls. FML

#21100846
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37286) - you deserved it (3410)

On 03/31/2014 at 8:24am - misc - by phantomthelabrat - United States (North Dakota)



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