About ebolson : Im 20 years old, work in a deli, love animals, and I am currently going to school to be music teacher.
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ebolson's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 3:40am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals
by anon / 09/09/2013 at 11:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Ugly / 08/22/2013 at 7:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
by Jill / 06/15/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
by ._. / 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Intimacy
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous
by conbon123 / 04/29/2013 at 3:20am / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm / United States (California) / Kids
by ShadowJack / 04/29/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML
by thyisnothorses / 04/28/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by mark807 / 04/28/2012 at 2:52am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML
by Anonymous / 04/28/2012 at 12:41am / United States / Transportation
Today, I was walking down the street, when an aging lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she had pickpocketed me of my wallet. FML
by Anonymous / 04/27/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Money
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…