eb9821

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Offline (the 12/19/2015 at 8:22pm)

eb9821

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2704
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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eb9821's page activity

Visits<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:45am<b>Oihana</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:55am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 5:49pm<b>feeshcake</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 2:04am<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 11:51am<b>ironhead</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 11:50am<b>Kodiakken</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:26pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:01am

Fucked!<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 5:51pm

eb9821's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of eb9821's badges

eb9821's favorite FMLs

Today, I started my day off with a relaxing cup of coffee, the morning paper, and the sound of my mother informing me I will be going to hell for being not believing in God. FML

by idonthavereligion / 05/29/2015 at 12:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a call to the rodent rescue I run. They wanted to know if we had any mice for adoption and how much they cost. I told them that we had over 30 mice, and that we don't charge but do take donations. They said, "That's fantastic! I've been struggling to find snake food that isn't frozen!" FML

by bekkylove22 / 05/27/2015 at 4:45am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2015 at 12:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

by baby_trex_arms / 05/05/2015 at 11:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

by Mr. Sniffles / 03/23/2015 at 11:43am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

by tumbleshay / 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

by ~__~ / 03/20/2015 at 5:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2015 at 5:34am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Health

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

by Josh / 03/05/2015 at 7:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML

by anonymous / 02/15/2015 at 5:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2015 at 11:47pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm / Kids

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

by lucas90 / 02/04/2015 at 4:42pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

by Sprinkles / 02/04/2015 at 2:44am / Australia / Miscellaneous