Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

eb9821

Offline (the 08/30/2015 at 3:38am) | Search for a member

eb9821

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1744
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

eb9821's page activity

Visits<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:45am<b>Oihana</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:55am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 5:49pm<b>feeshcake</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 2:04am<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 11:51am<b>ironhead</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 11:50am<b>Kodiakken</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:26pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:01am

Fucked!<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 5:51pm

eb9821's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of eb9821's badges

eb9821's favorite FMLs

Today, I started my day off with a relaxing cup of coffee, the morning paper, and the sound of my mother informing me I will be going to hell for being not believing in God. FML

#21417394
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26713) - you deserved it (5112)

On 05/29/2015 at 12:16am - misc - by idonthavereligion (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a call to the rodent rescue I run. They wanted to know if we had any mice for adoption and how much they cost. I told them that we had over 30 mice, and that we don't charge but do take donations. They said, "That's fantastic! I've been struggling to find snake food that isn't frozen!" FML

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

#21415473
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30575) - you deserved it (2109)

On 05/25/2015 at 12:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

#21405064
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34679) - you deserved it (4526)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:13am - intimacy - by baby_trex_arms - United States (California)

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

#21380083
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38219) - you deserved it (2427)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by Mr. Sniffles - United States (Ohio)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

#21378617
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31692) - you deserved it (4562)

On 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm - love - by tumbleshay - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

#21378507
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28401) - you deserved it (2269)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by ~__~ -

Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML

#21369784
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35078) - you deserved it (2429)

On 03/07/2015 at 5:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML

#21368848
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34497) - you deserved it (7360)

On 03/05/2015 at 7:25pm - misc - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, while working at Subway I joked with a customer asking him if he was going to order in Spanish. The women in front of him began yelling about how I was being racist and told my manager that I needed to be fired. The customer I was joking with was my Spanish teacher. FML

#21356827
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37024) - you deserved it (2619)

On 02/15/2015 at 5:39pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

#21355983
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32441) - you deserved it (2302)

On 02/14/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML

#21352465
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35767) - you deserved it (2971)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

#21352119
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45404) - you deserved it (3431)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

#21349488
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30081) - you deserved it (2441)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:44am - misc - by Sprinkles (man) - Australia



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: