dyschordia

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dyschordia

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2279
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dyschordia : everything is fascinating when you have work to do



haha - I just discovered there's a band with my username! How weird =D

dyschordia's page activity

Visits<b>Dalboz</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 7:07am<b>CommandoGregor</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 3:42pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 3:16pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:10pm<b>dblogic</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 5:27pm<b>Littlest_things</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 1:19pm<b>GeorgetheOreo</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 5:25am<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 4:58am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:14am<b>kaelee2015</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 3:31pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 11:24pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 1:06am<b>Somefruits</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 1:20am<b>ManiBoo</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 2:40pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:34pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 08/05/2011 at 5:47pm<b>The__Redneck</b> - the 07/23/2011 at 2:10pm

dyschordia's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dyschordia's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

by Khrixas_069 / 06/18/2011 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I'm sat at home alone on a Friday night, watching a documentary online about decomposing elephants. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2011 at 9:26pm / Israel / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML

by Willow / 06/17/2011 at 7:32pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

by crushed dreams / 06/16/2011 at 2:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

by Username / 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend had been encouraging me to send him 'personal' videos was so he could sell them online to porn websites. FML

by secretpornstar / 06/13/2011 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

by John jacob / 06/13/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

by Mom / 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML

by 8sq / 06/10/2011 at 9:32pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML

by gabxoxo03 / 06/10/2011 at 3:06pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

by lilben / 06/10/2011 at 4:09am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2011 at 4:32pm / United States (New Mexico) / Animals

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

by Patrick R / 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML

by CatLady / 06/09/2011 at 3:20am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was under a building overhang to avoid getting drenched by the rain while waiting for the bus. Apparently that corner is notorious for drug dealing, I found this out when a man angrily demanded his drugs and chased me half a block. FML

by DrugDeal / 06/08/2011 at 9:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous