dva976

Search for a member

dva976

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1610
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dva976 : Hit Me Up If U Wanna Know Something.

dva976's page activity

Visits<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 12:30am<b>Rozay333</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 12:57am<b>fairy0spirit</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:29am<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 8:36pm<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 4:30pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 11:21pm<b>tjw1616</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 10:42pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 1:45pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:05am<b>vintral88</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 9:09am<b>Ley135</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 2:38am<b>Snomed</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 1:34am<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 8:47pm<b>sullysair123</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 10:58pm<b>Stxsyh</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 10:18am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 8:25am<b>LauraAreias</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 4:17pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:02pm

Fucked!<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 2:36am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:06pm<b>Ley135</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 8:38am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:02pm

dva976's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of dva976's badges

dva976's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 10:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

by Annonmyus / 12/03/2010 at 3:56am / Intimacy

Today, is my daughter's first birthday. Today also marks 1 year and 9 months since I last had sex with my wife. FML

by notgettingany / 11/24/2010 at 12:18pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

by Tai / 10/31/2010 at 9:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2010 at 1:09pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I had one of the worst panic attacks in years. I was worried nobody cared about me and that I had completely messed up my life. I was hyperventilating and crying hysterically. My mom walked by my room, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make those noises, at least shut the door." FML

by Screwed / 03/15/2009 at 11:38pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love