Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Brisbane, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 February 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1386
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About dusthar : FML is essentially my morning coffee, I wake up, grab my phone and read the day's new FML's.
I'm an avid gamer and I binge watch way too much television shows. I've probably seen all 18 seasons of South Park AT LEAST 7 times each. What can I say? That's the life of a uni student.
Message me if you want.

dusthar's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - yesterday at 6:44am<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 1:27am<b>kkorn051212</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 11:41pm<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 11:20pm<b>yogibear208</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 12:41pm<b>Esoomian</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 6:59pm<b>umerin</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 6:44pm<b>YBae</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 10:29pm<b>9Ja4cOb</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 2:07am<b>therealjc</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:51pm<b>fleathedestroyer</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 8:51pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:46pm<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 11:41pm<b>captain_nick</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 11:11pm<b>mLove395</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 11:16am<b>astralvagan</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 2:39am<b>fml0505</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 10:09pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 2:50am

Fucked!<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 5:21am<b>YBae</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 3:29am

dusthar's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”


Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of dusthar's badges

dusthar's favorite FMLs

Today, I figured out why my 'best friend' hasn't talked to me in weeks. She assumed an FML post she read was about her. It was posted in 2009. I met her last year. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24529) - you deserved it (1563)

On 11/02/2015 at 10:55pm - misc - by likecomeon - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17771) - you deserved it (32515)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54613) - you deserved it (4769)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59846) - you deserved it (9687)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44742) - you deserved it (4937)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered I have epilepsy. 10 years ago, I told my mother about my frequent fits of vertigo, deja vu, nausea, flashes of memory and strange sounds, smells, and images, coupled with an other-worldly feeling. I thought they were holy visions. So did she. FML

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML


Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60698) - you deserved it (9349)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by JustSomeGuy - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML


I agree, your life sucks (60565) - you deserved it (13048)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41114) - you deserved it (3690)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML


I agree, your life sucks (82460) - you deserved it (5676)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64639) - you deserved it (21241)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37233) - you deserved it (6411)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47458) - you deserved it (4784)

On 03/19/2013 at 7:30am - intimacy - by soontobesingle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 43-year-old brother's obsession with Breaking Bad reached a new level of stupidity when he nearly got us beaten up by a bunch of meth-heads down by our local park. He went up to them with his shaved head and stupid hat, and tried to act all Walter White with them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21583) - you deserved it (2062)

On 09/10/2012 at 2:06am - misc - by NotJessePinkmanFFS (man) - United States (California)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: