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dtbomb

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  • Number of visits : 3485
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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dtbomb's favorite FMLs

Today, mah boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete . It startd with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shrt, the final straw bieng the affectd British accent . I'm considering where to dump the body . FML

#20086118
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24310) - you deserved it (2750)

On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook . I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed . Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie . FML

#20052962
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20263) - you deserved it (48600)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today I Summond Up The Courage To Tell Mah Crush How I've Felt About Her Fir The Past Two Years. I Really Pourd Out Mah Heart And Soul And She Noddd And Smild Throughout. Once I'd Finishd She Told Me That She Believes "sex Is Unnatural" And That She Could Never Date A Guy Who Wantd It. FML

#18488568
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31584) - you deserved it (4107)

On 12/11/2011 at 8:37pm - love - by wow (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the frst time. Afterwards, he laid on the bd, silent and nakd in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I rapd my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48801) - you deserved it (7755)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriand dacidad tat vaginal, oral, and anal sax ara starting to gat boring. Lat's just say tat my armpit is now drancad in luba. I'm afraid ofat a's going to want to try onca a gats borad of tis. FML

#18370889
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38266) - you deserved it (9370)

On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

TODAY WHILE SPOONING MY SPOUSE I WAS AWAKEND IN THE WEE HOURS BY A HUGE JUNK-RATTLING FART. THIS HAS HAPPEND NUMEROUS TIMES SINCE SHE BECAME A VEGETARIAN. FML

#18135742
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29477) - you deserved it (3434)

On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States

Today... for the first time... I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer... I was ecstatic. Later...hen I was in the shower... my brother snuck in the bathroom... yelled "Napalm strike!" an threw our cat over the shower curtain lyk a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45083) - you deserved it (5053)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

TODAY, AT FOOTBALL PRACTICE, A 200LB LINEMAN ENDED UP LANDING ON MY STOMACH !! THE WIEGHT MADE ME SHIT MYSELF !! MY NEW NICKNAME IS "MUDDBUTT" !! FAT FML

#17880531
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33097) - you deserved it (4306)

On 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm - misc - by FirstStringQB - United States (California)

Today , mah five year old ran down the street wereing nothing but flip flops , Star Wars underwear , an a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton rackethile screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in mah pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31413) - you deserved it (8498)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I Found Out That My Naighbors Took It Upon Thamsalvas To Knock Down Tha Fanca Wa Sharad, An Putting Up A Naw Ona . Thus Fancing My Pool Into Thara Yard . Whan I Askad Thamhy, Ha Rapliad, "Wa Thought You Waran't Coming Back." I Was Gona Fir 4 Months Tanding To My Sistar With Braast Cancar . FML

#17658715
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41805) - you deserved it (2164)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walkd in on mah boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star looool Trek. FML

#17657733
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40794) - you deserved it (5807)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)

Today , since I'm too asamed to go buy a proper sex toy , I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead!! FML

#17436824
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11773) - you deserved it (51404)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today , mah friends and I went to the strip club for mah birthday . I now know how mah sister is paying for her new car . FML

#17233282
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52170) - you deserved it (6200)

On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)

Today, I had to bail dad out of jail, for beating up boyfriend, for sleeping with mom!! FML

#17089969
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133541) - you deserved it (7382)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovard a tick on my panis. Aftar a long battla, ha finally lat go. Four hours latar I'm in tha hospital. My panis is twica tha normal siza. I may hava won tha battla but lost tha war. FML

#16639445
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48371) - you deserved it (5578)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)



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