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drunk_in_love

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drunk_in_love

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4917
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About drunk_in_love : I'm a hipster. I hate ignorant people.

drunk_in_love's page activity

Visits<b>Sarahch</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 3:27pm<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 3:24pm<b>meli1195</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:03am<b>stinkyslinky</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:01pm<b>daniellemshine</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:31pm<b>MNBOY16</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 9:26pm

drunk_in_love's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of drunk_in_love's badges

drunk_in_love's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent : shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2647) - you deserved it (278)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

#21413610
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16090) - you deserved it (1414)

On 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

#21411971
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27250) - you deserved it (2627)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I went to bring my 92-year-old neighbor some cake we had just made. When I walked in, she was wearing pants. That's it. I stared blinking in shock for a few seconds before running away, yelling, "So sorry. I brought you cake. Real tired. Gonna sleep now. Bye." FML

#21409137
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23563) - you deserved it (3010)

On 05/12/2015 at 8:33pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML

#21408368
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26213) - you deserved it (8657)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:40pm - misc - by oops (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML

#21407745
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30028) - you deserved it (5381)

On 05/10/2015 at 11:35am - intimacy - by YouDontSay (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML

#21406874
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28957) - you deserved it (2356)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that maggots can live inside of a saxophone. FML

#21406781
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27181) - you deserved it (3708)

On 05/08/2015 at 1:40pm - misc - by McWhopper - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML

#21406759
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25548) - you deserved it (3223)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:46pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML

#21406695
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13095) - you deserved it (34541)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

#21406694
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30288) - you deserved it (2786)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:44am - misc - by brittrus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I somehow got into the conversation of what the weirdest thing we have ever found in food was. She said she found paper in her fortune cookie; she was serious. FML

#21406274
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28411) - you deserved it (2495)

On 05/07/2015 at 3:52pm - misc - by Random737193 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

#21405973
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31037) - you deserved it (4275)

On 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by dadoftheyear (man) - United States

Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML

#21405071
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29448) - you deserved it (3040)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I hadn't slept well the night before and when I got onto the scariest ride, I somehow fell half asleep. I woke up upside down and ended up peeing myself in terror. FML

#21403515
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28658) - you deserved it (4817)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59pm - misc - by Upside-Down Sleeper. - United States (Maryland)



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