About droid1126 : Who's that classy looking fellow with the Toucan Sam beak in the back, you ask? That would be me, making the lovely lady in the foreground of the picture my beautiful girlfriend. If you're on Xbox, add About25Muslims so we can play together! I'll play damn near anything, but right now I'm mostly on Ark: Survival Evolved.
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droid1126's favorite FMLs
Today, my mom grabbed my phone, said she was taking it because I'd been disrespectful, and hung up my call. I'd been speaking with a work client. This is the gratitude I get for paying all her bills for the past 2 years, all because she's too lazy to get a job. FML
by Anonymous / 07/27/2016 at 11:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by BodyElectric / 07/26/2016 at 1:06am / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/23/2016 at 7:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was told that the $8,500 bill for my new water well grew to $11,000 because of a fair amount of overtime. I learned that the men I hired to drill the new well at our home were spending the overtime drilling my daughter as well. FML
by loserman67 / 07/18/2016 at 8:04am / Intimacy
by Not true / 07/17/2016 at 10:56pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by Lil Bro / 07/16/2016 at 10:05pm / United Kingdom (Sandwell) / Intimacy
by SkyrimGamerMoM / 07/14/2016 at 3:49pm / United States (North Dakota) / Geek
Today, I handed a middle-aged woman her change of $0.75 with three quarters. She looked at the change bewildered and threw the coins down, asking if she thought I could get away with only giving her thirty cents. I had to explain to her how much a quarter is worth. FML
by ihatebeingacashier / 07/11/2016 at 5:06pm / Work
by Seeyounarabish / 07/10/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
by DumbassRoaster / 07/10/2016 at 3:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/09/2016 at 5:22pm / Transportation
Today, after 22 hours running around the hospital, I found some time to sit still and have a sandwich. My attending physician walked by and commented that I must not have enough work to do. The same person who 12 hours ago said finding time to eat was a skill, since I was eating on the go. FML
by AverageAvarice / 07/07/2016 at 4:09pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
by LadyGoombah / 07/06/2016 at 9:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, my brother set me up on a blind date. I've been single for years and he said she was a perfect match for me, so I was excited. Turned out the fucker was playing a prank. The girl was my sister, who was just as surprised as I was. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2016 at 9:39am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2016 at 12:17am / United States (California) / Kids