About droid1126 : Who's that classy looking fellow with the Toucan Sam beak in the back, you ask? That would be me, making the lovely lady in the foreground of the picture my beautiful girlfriend. If you're on Xbox, add About25Muslims so we can play together! I'll play damn near anything, but right now I'm mostly on Ark: Survival Evolved.
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droid1126's favorite FMLs
by AlwaysTired / 09/14/2016 at 10:57am / United States / Transportation
Today, it's my birthday and I'd planned to take my family and friends to dinner with my own money. My mom just informed me that she'd messaged everyone that I'd canceled the dinner. She instead wants to use my money to buy my older brother a gun for his birthday, which is in two days. FML
by mckenna9797 / 09/07/2016 at 7:16am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my housemate and I had rough passionate sex in every room of the house. Being that I'm 18 and he's 32, it was a new thing for me. I just received a call from my mother stating that they would not be paying for the baby they watched us make through their wireless cams in our house. FML
by BabsZilla / 09/04/2016 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana Grace. My sister just revealed she is having a girl and naming her Hana Grace since "the name is up for grabs now". FML
by MadWorld / 08/28/2016 at 1:49pm / Miscellaneous
Today, after months of eating lunch with my best friend, going to Barnes and Noble, and having to poop while I was there, I realized I've trained myself to have to poop every single time I step into a Barnes and Noble. FML
by nes0385 / 08/27/2016 at 12:06pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I went to my boss with concerns that my manager is dumping her responsibilities on me. He agreed and told me to just do whatever she wants. She gets paid twice as much as me to talk on her cellphone all day. FML
by raquelcita / 08/26/2016 at 2:05am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML
by Caqtusmonkey / 08/25/2016 at 11:28am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I made quite an impression on my new bin men by forgetting to put the bin out 'til the last minute. I'm sure they enjoyed a good laugh at the woman in shorts, tank top and slippers struggling with a brolly as she slipped and slid while dragging her bin up a hill in a downpour. FML
by Impressionist / 08/25/2016 at 7:17am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/24/2016 at 11:50pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to my husband's face. That'd be nice if he hadn't turned his eyelids inside out, waiting to scare me. I was scared alright. So scared that I pissed myself and broke my side table falling out of bed. FML
by crazycatlady / 08/24/2016 at 5:43am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
by CyberPsycho / 08/19/2016 at 4:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by notthesame / 08/18/2016 at 12:45am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found a parking spot in front of my work. I parked and another car pulled into the spot just in front of me. The next thing I know, the car in front backs up and slams into my car. Turns out she didn't notice the fire hydrant next to her spot and screamed at me cause I, "stole her spot." FML
by denting-and-venting / 08/10/2016 at 4:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today I went to my sleep therapist; I sleep 8 hours a night, but I'm still very tired during the day. I'm divorced, so we decided that I would record myself sleeping to see if I might be snoring. We listened to the tape. Not only was I snoring very loudly, I cry all night in my sleep. FM
by Sleeping moody / 08/08/2016 at 12:01am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous