About dreamsneverfall : I'm sarcastic, I'm boring, I don't much like people. That's about all you need to know. Message me if you wish, I guess. Oh. And I'm Hunter. But call me Adelaide or Odyssey.
dreamsneverfall's FML badges
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
dreamsneverfall's favorite FMLs
Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2014 at 12:38am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML
by Jizzyface / 12/29/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy
Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML
by abc123 / 12/16/2013 at 11:44am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/17/2013 at 2:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML
by barebackingit / 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by SantaClaus / 11/02/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Health
by MsConfusedd / 10/27/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML
by propose_you_freakin_coward / 09/27/2013 at 8:51am / Singapore / Love
by Bianchitis / 09/25/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Health
Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Animals
Today, my girlfriend and I attempted some bondage for the first time. Within seconds of the handcuffs being put on, I went into a serious panic attack. I was playing the dominant; my girlfriend was the one in cuffs. FML
by vanillaforme / 07/27/2013 at 7:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by The fuck, junior? / 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
Today, my future sister-in-law cancelled my invitation to her and my brother's wedding. Her reason was that I was incredibly rude to announce my pregnancy to my family at a time like this, because it took all the attention away from her. FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2013 at 5:58pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
- Today, while in a CROWDED restaurant, my mother asked my grandfather what he was going in to order.… Today, I was texting my girlfriend. I went to reply to her message and somehow accidentally deleted… Today, my mom told me she'd like for me to start paying her monthly for the time I lived with her…