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dreamering

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dreamering
  • Town/Country : NY, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2443
  • Number of comments : 614
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dreamering : I’ve been here forever, practically since the beginning, even though I registered later.
FML it’s the best pastime in the long commute to work.
I like irony and sarcasm and most of the time I’m not serious on what I write.

By the way, do you know about Sirinz.org?

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I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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dreamering's favorite FMLs

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10051) - you deserved it (27697)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, I noticed that when I sweat I smell like bacon. I'm a vegetarian. FML

#17756574
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18597) - you deserved it (9617)

On 09/16/2011 at 5:38am - misc - by sweatstreaks - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I told my husband that I wanted him to stay sober during the week. He responded by saying he wanted me to be a supermodel during the week. FML

#17755758
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22620) - you deserved it (8581)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:15am - love - by brinn - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80449) - you deserved it (11868)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split second later, I realized I wasn't typing into the browser address bar, but in a chat window on my other screen. I'd been chatting with a girl I wanted to get with at the time. FML

#17719852
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11393) - you deserved it (54814)

On 09/11/2011 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by Extended_desktop (man) - Poland

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35049) - you deserved it (6529)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35049) - you deserved it (6529)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

#17714662
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33709) - you deserved it (2688)

On 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm - health - by sadddddd (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
572 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17225) - you deserved it (218213)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13358) - you deserved it (45318)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a car backed into mine. I thought that was pretty bad, until another car backed into me right after I'd finished taking the first guy's info. FML

#17701558
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21302) - you deserved it (1276)

On 09/09/2011 at 12:51am - misc - by Mark - United States (Washington)

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6889) - you deserved it (56186)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

#17688426
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33429) - you deserved it (8637)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm - money - by BigMoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

#17671695
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23595) - you deserved it (9020)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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