dreamer2012

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dreamer2012

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4859
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dreamer2012 : Love reading FML

dreamer2012's page activity

Visits<b>kolom</b> - 16 hours ago<b>ImReallyBatman</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 10:01pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 2:40am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 9:55pm<b>skygage</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 3:52am<b>RoyalJoker4</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 10:58am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 2:37pm<b>kittina</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 1:45am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 7:44am<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 11:51pm<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 4:11pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 11:09pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 5:14pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 12:22pm<b>kyndalashworth11</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:37am<b>MechanicKayla</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 10:25pm<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:38am<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 12:46am

Fucked!<b>kyndalashworth11</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:22pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 1:29am

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dreamer2012's favorite FMLs

Today, marks three days since I was supposed to follow the moving truck to my new home. Instead, I got super sick and my dad drove away without me. I've been laying on a dog cushion the entire weekend because my bed is 500 miles away. FML

by PlzSendBlankets / 06/26/2016 at 10:00pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I arrived to work at exactly 8 so I could leave at exactly 5, without overtime. I found out later that my brother took my keys with him somewhere and now I can't enter the house until he gets back at 11. FML

by rhplb / 05/17/2016 at 9:10am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Work

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

by STOP / 05/08/2014 at 9:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

by god / 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

by Brody89 / 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

by mystery / 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2013 at 5:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

by quirrus / 05/07/2012 at 5:42am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I noticed my nephew has blue eyes, freckles and dimples which don't run in my family or my sister's husband's family, but they do run in my husband's family. FML

by Damn / 05/06/2012 at 9:53am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my wedding. Everyone showed up, except my fiancé. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 3:08am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to a customer how our hotel charged his card even though he has never stayed with us. Apparently his wife is a regular customer. I can't help but feel like a home-wrecker. FML

by Steve / 04/28/2012 at 9:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Work