Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

drayloon

Online | Search for a member

drayloon

23Liked!

drayloondrayloon
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6665
  • Number of comments : 296
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 9 posted

About drayloon : I bet a nickel that you are reading this right now.

Message me if you want, I get bored lol

drayloon's page activity

Visits<b>_powerslave666</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Noraaaa</b> - 8 hours ago<b>twerkthemdrums</b> - 17 hours ago<b>money2g</b> - yesterday at 3:01am<b>kjax</b> - yesterday at 12:48am<b>DarkLevi</b> - yesterday at 11:50pm<b>IceBerge</b> - yesterday at 2:22pm<b>cmac86</b> - yesterday at 3:29am<b>ClaireQ123</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 8:43pm<b>sethr_di</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 12:38pm<b>LeavenSilva</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 11:57am<b>brando1983</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 9:15am<b>MetalSonicCD</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 4:56am<b>roman11</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 4:54am<b>ragnarok357</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:29am<b>hellalegit</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 2:22am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 2:16am<b>Holybatman</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 2:14am

Liked!<b>emilyharveyyy</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 7:34pm<b>jesuis_julie</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 5:05pm<b>djuptspartan71</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:32am<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:21pm<b>Flaming_Pandas</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 12:48pm<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:37am<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:09am<b>rocketgurl</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 10:34pm<b>Kailayla</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 9:43am<b>briang959</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 1:02pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:51pm<b>juststephhere</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 3:17am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 1:47pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 2:43pm<b>ClaireQ123</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 9:05pm<b>BakenWake420</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:37am<b>sheba72</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 6:34am<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 4:17pm

drayloon's FML badges

Colonel_Whiskers

You liked our secret mascot. Well done, Sherlock!

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of drayloon's badges

drayloon's favorite FMLs

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

#21361029
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31021) - you deserved it (3750)

On 02/22/2015 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by bugger -

Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML

#21351119
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26628) - you deserved it (4184)

On 02/06/2015 at 7:57pm - misc - by go fuck myself - United States (Florida)

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

#21349904
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36416) - you deserved it (4279)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by MIB thingy please... (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38107) - you deserved it (6703)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 15 year old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

#21340484
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27774) - you deserved it (2264)

On 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML

#21315592
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33303) - you deserved it (7153)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anon - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML

#21315592
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33303) - you deserved it (7153)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anon - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

#21314442
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32410) - you deserved it (5315)

On 12/09/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

#21303170
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33118) - you deserved it (9145)

On 11/21/2014 at 4:56am - intimacy - by weirdthingtosay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28943) - you deserved it (3329)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32714) - you deserved it (4566)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37520) - you deserved it (10922)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41341) - you deserved it (5028)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41341) - you deserved it (5028)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41341) - you deserved it (5028)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: