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dramaelf's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/05/2009 at 12:28pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation
Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML
by burned / 11/04/2009 at 5:12am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I totalled my car. I flipped it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process. I was in extreme pain and unable to move. It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic. The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML
by Anonymous / 11/04/2009 at 12:18am / United States (Minnesota) / Health
by ljd09 / 11/03/2009 at 11:06pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/02/2009 at 9:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by whatthef / 11/02/2009 at 1:06pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
by theRoomie / 11/02/2009 at 1:47am / United States (California) / Health
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
by WasteOfTime / 11/01/2009 at 9:36am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Transportation
Today, I invited my very animal phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML
by Anon / 10/31/2009 at 7:08am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Love
by skyhawk13 / 10/30/2009 at 1:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was on a second date with this guy, my roommate tried calling me and I ignored her. After dinner my date brought me back to my apartment and there was a waterfall gushing down from the balcony above our apartment. The guys above us had started a fire and our apartment was flooded. FML
by effinit / 10/30/2009 at 12:31am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my car through the car wash. I got bored, so turned the radio on, forgetting that the aerial/antenna on the car is automatic. My car aerial is now bent at a 90 degree angle and about to fall off. The radio is half white noise, half stuff that may or may not be free jazz jam sessions. FML
by ohsnap / 10/28/2009 at 6:14am / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML
by anonymous / 10/27/2009 at 9:27am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, the door to my daughter's room became jammed and wouldn't open while she was in the room. Being resourceful, I grabbed my ladder and climbed up to her window, only to end up stuck in her window. I'm not sure what was worse, getting stuck, or being laughed at by my neighbors for a while. FML
by Chub / 10/27/2009 at 12:45am / United States (New York) / Kids
by Roida / 10/26/2009 at 6:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous