About dramaelf : I am me. That is all.
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50 quality responses
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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dramaelf's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the ER for extremely heavy bleeding related to my IUD birth control. They decided the best thing to do was remove it. An exam, two ultrasounds, and three x-rays later, the doctor comes back to tell me what's going on. Yeah, they can't find it. FML
by deku / 06/22/2015 at 6:34pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML
by oh no / 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML
by hfs palm / 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm / United States / Kids
by fartypants / 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML
by HURP / 06/17/2015 at 11:41am / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation
by jaivolétonnez / 06/17/2015 at 1:54am / Transportation
by patient_mom / 06/13/2015 at 9:27pm / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML
by officeditz / 06/03/2015 at 9:59pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me "DUDE guess what I got last night". A giant dump truck. FML
by dump truck hater / 06/03/2015 at 12:18pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/18/2015 at 2:41pm / United Kingdom / Transportation
Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML
by HiddlePuff / 05/14/2015 at 8:42am / Australia / Work
by cricketsins / 05/14/2015 at 1:11am / United States / Animals
by ptarr12345 / 05/14/2015 at 12:26am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids