About dragoongirl90 : I love Calvin and Hobbes because I grew up with them. I was the little blonde kid with the red and black horizontal-stripe t-shirt with the stuffed tiger (named Hobbes) and I was always catching weird bugs and I had a huge imagination. Calvin and Hobbes taught me that it's okay to have an imagination. They taught me it's okay to be both really smart and really dumb sometimes. They taught me what true friendship and loyalty was. They taught me how to have a zest for life, to love rainy days inside, and that nothing is so bad it can't get worse. They always cheer me up when I'm sad, and I really, truly love Calvon and Hobbes. I still have the stuffed tiger named Hobbes. I am a Gryffindor to the core. I am a passionate lover and the fiercest fighter you'll ever see. I will defend those I love to the death.
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dragoongirl90's favorite FMLs
Today, my wife announced she had a sexy surprise for me. Turns out she got a Brazilian wax, which is a huge turn-off for me. Not only could I not get it up, I got to hear all about how much her last boyfriend loved it. FML.
by HairToStay / 09/19/2016 at 12:04pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that one of my colleagues believes that aliens built the pyramids. No amount of logical reasoning or evidence has had any effect on his argument of, "but you can't prove they didn't." FML
by Anonymous / 08/22/2016 at 7:49am / Australia / Work
Today, all of my friends bailed from the birthday party I was throwing myself. This was also after they had encouraged me for months to have one, knowing I'd never had my birthday celebrated before. FML
by Its My BDay I Can Cry If I Want To / 08/10/2016 at 12:51pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I arrived for the holiday across the world that I spent my entire savings from working during college on. I had a slight sore throat, and couldn't manage to equalise my right ear, aborting all my scuba dives. There goes $500 and my dream of being a scuba instructor. FML
by Theregomylifesavings / 08/07/2016 at 4:52am / Vanuatu (Shefa) / Holidays
by Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater / 07/15/2016 at 4:27pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/13/2016 at 11:21am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my brother buys audiobooks only to play them on "mute" so that he can tell everyone that he read them later and flaunt the proof. The rest of my family think he is a genius for reading War and Peace in two days and won't listen to me. FML
by Kiki / 06/23/2016 at 7:54pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/20/2016 at 9:59pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Muchacha22 / 06/20/2016 at 1:25pm / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/03/2016 at 3:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/01/2016 at 7:05am / Canada (Quebec) / Health
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law decided that she is going to be in charge of planning my wedding. All decisions must be approved by her, and anything she doesn't like will be thrown out. She also wants to go on our honeymoon with us to make sure I don't "defile" her son. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 3:38pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad told me to knock it off with my "stupid gangster walk", saying it made me look like an idiot. I didn't have the balls to admit I'd sharted my pants and was awkwardly waddling to the bathroom to clean myself up. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 12:05pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by ShandiPandiDerp / 05/20/2016 at 8:12am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a splinter in my shop class. The teacher dug at it with tweezers for a while, then told me that my best bet would be to wait until the wound got infected and formed a bunch of pus around the splinter to force it out. It's in my dominant hand's palm. FML
by pain / 05/20/2016 at 12:23am / United States (California) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…