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dragonswingfaeri

Offline (the 01/03/2015 at 6:21am) | Search for a member

dragonswingfaeri

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 287
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dragonswingfaeri's page activity

Visits<b>NocturnalCro</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 6:54pm<b>marykaitlyn</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 6:44pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 1:30pm<b>armycar</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 1:41am

dragonswingfaeri's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of dragonswingfaeri's badges

dragonswingfaeri's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML

#21258867
88 comments

Today, my cat tried to jump up to the window, and missed. This would have been hilarious if I had not been sleeping under that same window, and then caught him with my face. FML

#21225823
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36688) - you deserved it (4078)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42276) - you deserved it (5022)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML

#14297992
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41526) - you deserved it (3920)

On 12/22/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by screwed (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

#13788956
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8208) - you deserved it (49320)

On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31711) - you deserved it (9261)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

#7598826
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13024) - you deserved it (27353)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was playing with my yo-yo. I began showing off to my friends. When the girl I liked walked by, I thought it'd be really cool to do the move "dog bite". I ended hitting myself in the balls. Hard. FML

#6792186
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7771) - you deserved it (34039)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:34am - misc - by owmyballs - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML

#6570901
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38684) - you deserved it (4555)

On 12/02/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was getting changed in front of my room mate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

#5094881
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20905) - you deserved it (54210)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by EyesOffMe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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