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dovahconn's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm / United States / Love
by KristaAaronn / 08/27/2014 at 8:24am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML
by JackieD / 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML
by Anonymous / 08/25/2014 at 1:44am / United States (Ohio) / Geek
by ew / 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my ex-boyfriend surprised me with a gorgeous, giant stuffed tiger as a belated birthday gift. I thought it was a lovely gesture until a friend told me she had thrown it in the dumpster behind our building this morning. FML
by Does this thought count? / 07/31/2014 at 8:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work
Today, I went on a date with an extremely cute girl. About 30 minutes in, she excused herself to the restroom. I waited for about 20 minutes, then I got up and left. About 10 minutes later, she called asking where I was. FML
by Kewl_Kat / 07/24/2014 at 7:24pm / United States (Vermont) / Love
Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/20/2014 at 7:57pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by sexyhobbit / 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by iphonerevolution / 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm / South Africa / Kids
Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML
by HazingNight / 07/02/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by devdevdev / 07/01/2014 at 9:20pm / Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul) / Love
by NosChersVoisins / 07/01/2014 at 12:55am / France (Aquitaine) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and… Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or…