doodieman

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doodieman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1097
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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doodieman's page activity

Visits<b>pixilz</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 10:36pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 7:57pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 5:54pm<b>colinabi</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 2:42pm<b>Johnatron</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 6:16pm<b>Jthewat</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 10:22pm<b>stargazer091</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 8:14am<b>Awesomeaxel</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 1:23pm<b>oxythemoron</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 9:37pm<b>BossMindedFemale</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 10:43pm<b>king_of_LA</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 1:40pm<b>AquanTheDragon</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 3:45pm<b>stormjk</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 12:23am<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 4:37pm<b>MichellinMan</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 11:44am<b>brennanives</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 11:15pm<b>Spider_Web</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 3:54pm<b>KatieKupcake4195</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 3:46am

doodieman's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of doodieman's badges

doodieman's favorite FMLs

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2013 at 10:50am / United States / Transportation

Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML

by typical / 04/13/2013 at 7:49pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2013 at 6:43am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

by Taylor Easley / 03/17/2012 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

by vanessa560 / 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2011 at 2:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML

by kingpin9219 / 05/30/2011 at 12:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 2:41am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got pulled over heading home from college. My car was full of my stuff from moving out and I couldn't reach the glove box. I told the cop this, and asked if he wanted me to go around to the passenger side to get my paperwork. He agreed. When I got out of the car he pepper sprayed me. FML

by Ilovelife07 / 05/11/2009 at 2:55pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work